lobotomizeyoursmartphone
lobotomizeyoursmartphone
lobotomizeyoursmartphone

Farting on a bike is hard. Farting in an aggressive areodynamic cycling position is even harder. Cycling is one of the most fart-repressing sports. Finally being capable of farting again after riding is a great relief but takes an hour or so after finishing even a relatively short ride. Those poor pro riders, I

The sky in D.C. on the morning of the Easter Egg Roll was oppressively white.

As a child, I was very disappointed to find that the book by Dr. Spock on my mother’s bookshelf did not have one mention of the Vulcan nerve pinch.

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Do we know what the other banned words and phrases are? I’d much rather hear a whole group of jaunty dillydillies than one loud drunk 38-year-old frat bro yelling “GET IN THE HOLE!” at every single swing.

Seventh Day Adventists? How will that help?

+1. Brutal, but Good.

do not patronize this duckling with your pity unless you, too, are capable of a vertical leap more than twice your height

With one hand is one thing, but with one hand and those nails? I would fall for that bar bet every time.

Hee hee, “basketball match.” Can’t take him seriously after that!

-1 for comment/username dissonance

The problem with the public is that they don’t know how to behave in public.

There lies a beef-flipping bot

This is why I’m way more afraid of white American terrorists than anything outside of climate change. A cornered animal is very dangerous.

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“If OJ wasn’t famous he’d be in jail right now. If OJ drove a bus, he wouldn’t even be OJ. He’d be Orenthal the bus-driving murderer.”

These look like the before-and-afters from a botched face transplant.

“In Russia, sportsmanship stops for play!”

+1 for comment content/profile picture synergy.

Hahaha, that’s cute that you think that will ever change. Upgradeable Apple laptops have gone the way of the optical drive and iphone headphone jack.

Might I suggest this product to fix that issue: