I know the whole Christmas release put me off a bit. This was the first Christmas where it was just my significant other and I, and I had to ponder whether or not I wanted to deal with the aftermath of a potential trigger after having a such wonderful morning.

The management at my restaurant recently fired a hostess for writing things like "cripple" and "skanky blonde" as descriptions. She thought she was being so terribly clever, until she wrote "slutty dress" and the woman in said dress saw it and walked out. Turned out she was someone important, because she went to my…

I understand the alliteration compulsion, but please, it's a mixer. My degree in culinary arts will thank you

I've never popped my eyeballs out or rearranged my rib cage, but I got really sick one time and coughed so hard I popped blood vessels in both my eyes. I looked like those dudes on the tattoo episode of Taboo, where they colour the whites of their eyes. The combination of bright blue irises surrounded by red, puffy…

If I have to correct one more mid-western hipster about the pronunciation of "Couch street" or tell them how to get to the pearl, I'm going to strangle someone.

I believe the above "apology" was translated from Dutch, so the translator has bad grammar, not the racist lady.

haha, me too. I'm also cursed with a super low tolerance , so I get half-way through a pint and I'm ready to take a nap on my happy-hour appetizers.

There are all kinds of chemicals happening in your brain when you do anything that requires your attention or participation. With video games, the two chief hormones you would be experiencing is adrenaline and dopamine, similar to what gambling addicts go through.. Video games are a pretty constant cycle of test and…

I'm afraid he would bring up some crap about the "war on Christmas" or how little Christians can't pray in schools, and some other bullshit he tells himself so he can act the victim of our "secular society". Lots of mainstream Christians have some weird persecution complex, I could see Rick Perry twisting that…

Yeah, I'm usually too busy with my job... which is making food for people in a restaurant. If I had a kid and he asked me to make something for his bakesale I'd be like "Bitch, do you know what I do for a living? No I don't want to cook, go get the Oreos out of the pantry and take those."

Recipe up thread!

Alright, recipe time! I kinda threw this together on a whim, and didn't bother writing anything down, but here'goes

I'm giving away "hot apple pie" this year. It's a concoction of fresh apples, quality apple cider, bourbon, cinnamon sticks and cloves that I let sit for a month and then strained. Gonna bottle it up with a little instruction card, suggesting mixing it with steamed milk, a dollop of whipped cream, and a light dusting…

Well, I guess cancer technically is a bundle of cells that duplicate themselves, kind of like a zygote, sort of.

I would never cook a steak well-done again. I'd be like, "Oh, the customer wants this 40-dollar beautifully marbled tenderloin cooked to hell? That goes against my beliefs. How about some of this gristle stuck on the grill and a bottle of ranch dressing, instead."

I remember watching that one and thinking "Who in their right mind would want to have Bobby Flay sperm?"

I had five. I'm making up for the people who didn't have any. A brave sacrifice, I know.

See, what Rep. Watchmann is doing is saving the school budget! Once all those babies born to poor women are in pre-school, there will be enough of them to replace the janitorial staff. I'm sure a class of 40 four-year-olds can have an elementary school looking spotless within a few hours. She's providing a chance for…

As much as I hate Christmas Shoes, this song is a very close second.

Yeah, my school was the same way. I went to college right after I graduated, knowing full well that I was going to hate it, but I went because that was the expectation. I'm lucky in that I realized it wasn't going to work, so I dropped out after a term and applied for a trade school. I may not be making a whole lot of…