Some jackass kicked in the head of my neighbour's gaudy lawn-sized nativity Joseph, so they replaced him with a light-up bear holding a candy cane. Then they put a Santa hat on the faceless Joseph and stuck him in the back behind the donkey.

I remember seeing the trailer for M:I4 in theatres for the first time, not knowing what it was. I was like "COOL HELICOPTERS AND TOWERS N' STUFF, AND HOLY SHIT WAS THAT SIMON PEGG? AW MAN AN EXPLOSION THIS LOOKS AWESOME- OH MY GOD IT'S DIRECTED BY THE RATATOUILLE GUY. I GOTTA SEE THIS MOVI- ohhhhh goddamn it it's…

Sushi rice is just short grain rice cooked with vinegar and other seasonings. I assume the arsenic in rice comes from both the water used to wash and cook it, and whatever pesticides are used during growing.

I love how she's like "Look how concerned I am about child abuse. Let's fuck everyone else over because obviously it'll make men more rape-y."

When I was wee, whenever I threw tantrums, my dad would pick me up and put me in his lap with his arms locked around mine, so I couldn't thrash around. I would struggle for a few minutes and then give up, and we'd talk about why I was being such a brat.

Other than duct tape, is there another way to create some traction on shoes? I bought some super comfy Keens for my job, but nobody bothered to tell me that they have great traction on everything except tile. I want to return them, but I can only return them if they're unworn. So I can either scrub the crap out of…

After Mass Effect 3, this is my most anticipated game of 2012, I don't give a fuck what you think.

My mouse sensitivity is all screwed up. They fixed up the X-axis, which was nice, but the Y-axis is super sensitive. I move my mouse up a millimetre and suddenly I'm giving my character a rectal exam.

I thought gay sex between two males was them tying their dicks together and playing a tug-of-war.

Portland, Maine, or Portland, Oregon? 'Cause there are plenty funky artists types in Stumptown. Can't really say the same for most cities in Maine.

Casey Hudson said on Twitter that combat is the easiest to show off, and the best indicator of how far they've come without spoiling the story. I think they learned their lesson from their ME2 marketing, which was pretty much "Look at this spoilery video of all the dudes you'll have on your team!"

I'd say nine out of 10 of my lady friends play video games in some format that aren't Facebook games. One of my friends has an insane 370 hours clocked into Disgaea 2. This probably has more to do with me choosing to hang out with people I have stuff in common with than an indicator of general trends.

Must be really awful, being a white, middle-class, heterosexual male, and listening to all those women and brown people bitch and complain.

So, considering I own Skyrim, all of the Ice and Fire books, and happen to have a vagina, I am some kind of genderal anomaly. Do I have to turn in my Woman Card? I don't think I was ever issued one in the 20-something years I've been around.

oh what do you know, I'm brewing my own lager right now (a knockoff of Full Sail's Session Lager). I think I just found my Christmas present to me.

To be totally honest, I've never really liked turkey that much. Like, getting a big slab of white meat covered with gravy doesn't excite me a whole lot. BUT. The day-after-Thanksgiving turkey-gravy-cranberry-mayo-fuck it, put some stuffing on it too-sandwich is my favourite part of the holiday. If I could get away…

No, no, I can't do this again. I have like, 30 games left over from the Summer Sale that I still haven't played.

I saw a used copy of the Orange Box on sale for 19.99. I asked the supervisor why they were charging that much when two of the games in the set were free. He said "It got popular again after Portal 2, so we jacked the price up." His exact words. There was also a used copy of Persona 3 for 45.99. When I sold my copy in…

I think you'll know more people than you think you will. Pretty sure almost every interesting person who's ever existed has gone/is going to hell. It's just more fun down there.