There’s a semi-colon within an em dash’d clause, and a parenthetical! What is this, my sophomore year philosophy term paper?

I’m also curious about the pass to Howard.

This is a terrible joke. Irony has to come last.

“Why?” you ask, drool dripping down your idiot, overbitten chin.

Because the only thing that can possibly be funny about this—the punchline, if you will—is the (stupid) irony. But by hiding irony in second and putting lists in last, the punchline is that it is a list.…

Dear God. Do you think being a role model to white suburbia is what it takes “to occupy significant racial space”?

Did either team run a single (non-Iso) play during that entire quarter? I mean this seriously: did anyone watch this game (I'm so sorry) and see an actual play at any point? Because it sure looks like neither team is even trying here.

I think the baseline assumption is that college coaches are pariahs in a corrupt system, and Albert's point is that no amount of "players first" branding — at least in Cal's case — should override that criticism.

With just a few quick edits, this is how Deadspin will land Simmons when he finally leaves ESPN.

he felt it was necessary to ensure the long-term health of both sports franchises.

When the trade was made, it was entirely possible to rationalize MCW's inefficiency as a result of the 76er's roster construction. Of course he was inefficient; he was playing with terrible scrubs.

But his play in Milwaukee, where he has genuine, professional basketball players on the court with him, has made it plain:…

It's still infinitely better than the terrible headline I sent to tips earlier for this clip:

Michael Carter-Williams' Lob Attempt: As Overthrown as Russia's Tsar

"Hits Game-Winning **Three**..." probably is what you were aiming for.

I have to respectfully disagree with the dousing strategy. If you douse, parts of the pancake can become too saturated with syrup, which harms the structural integrity of the 'cake, and can lead to the sad, sad outcome of scooping sodden pancake crumbs through the tines of the fork. Not for me, the wasted pancake…

Reddit user BruisedShoulder is claiming to be the bro in the video. He says:

Rob Ryan recently at a whole Cuban, horse, Bartolo Colon.

Seems to me like we've got a full-on phrase controversy on our hands.

As my comically industrious grandfather once said, it all goes to the same place anyway. He was talking about the toilet, you guys.

Is the sun going to continue to change position all day?