I will also not dress for tonight’s game.

My 16-year-old sister looks a little bit older so she occasionally gets hit on by boys in their early 20s. At one point, this one sorry fellow tried to convince her that “age is just a number,” to which she quickly retorted, “a prison cell is just a room.”

I just remembered a great one! Last month, my friend - who is the chillest, least confrontational, most mild-mannered person in the whole world - was visiting Israel and he ran into some German lady who was like, “Why can’t there just be peace?” My friend was all, “Yeah, totally” (my friend and I are both Jewish but…

Fairly recently me, my siblings and my parents were sitting around and in a sign of how we can now all talk like adults we were sort of telling “The most fucked up I’ve ever been” stories and my sister, who had a bit of a wild adolescence, tells a pretty horrific story. My mother, who was the least enthusiastic about…

Waiting at the airport for a flight. There’s a line of about 10 people at the counter that were delayed from an earlier flight. Some dude pushes past the line and screams at the desk agent that, “(He) has to be on this flight! And it has to be first class!” Agent tells him that she can help him but he need to wait in…

I don’t know what they’re going to do about all the players recently out of UNC. None of those guys show up on tests.

I'm disappointed Saxx aren't on here. By far the most comfortable and good-looking underwear I've ever worn. http://www.saxxunderwear.com/

I'm disappointed Saxx aren't on here. By far the most comfortable and good-looking underwear I've ever worn. http://w…

It seems almost too obvious to point out that this is a bad, bad list.

NHL playoffs are incredibly enticing. Anyone who thinks differently is a heathen and deserves to be cast from society.

so does this mean he was not good at murdering?

Despite having put on a good face, Ryan says he felt like a “leftover” under the new GM

Beaten by Dre©

That's totally unfair and untrue. He fits the mold because he's wildly overrated.

Jack Wilshere is one reason I am glad that I'm not an Arsenal fan. I'd be tearing my fucking hair out because of all the attention that has been paid to Fragile Jack. Cazorla can be magical, a rested Sanchez runs riot on his wing and centrally, and Ozil is becoming more dangerous as he slowly remembers how to play the…

Sounds like he has a good Head on his Shoulders.

“If the gum transferred the spit, you must acquit.”

I’ll be interested to see if this sticks.

Meh.

I can’t pinpoint how the substance in question entered my body

Bennett Like Beckham.