under the ancient doctrine of Finders Keepers.

Incorrect. Your only legal option is to start a construction company.

Praying to the powers that be that I make it to that age (and remain as lascivious as ever).

My MIL has a sheep farmer friend and her guard alpaca does not fuck around. I don’t think this one got the memo about being delicate.

AND THE VICUÑA IS THE CUTE ONE OMG

That’s a llame excuse.

They both sound probllamatic.

Ah, I confess that my llama search produced both alpacas and llamas, and I am not llama expert enough to immediately know the difference. Now, however, we have llamas. I’ve made sure.

But what about those poor warehouse workers?

But what about those poor warehouse workers?

Tomsula deserves this, because he knows that any trophy or plaque that comes with an award can be hammered out with a rock into a bowl, a fork, a makeshift lock for the VW bus he’s living in and so many other things that you might not happen to have on hand.

Tomsula isn’t just the sports person of the year, but janitor, tanner, aspestos remover, daycare driver, lawn maintenence, fireplace sweeper, AND scrap recycler of the year. The choice is obvious people.

How can this be anyone other than Sepp Blatter? Shit, the award should be named the "Sepp Blatter Award for Sleaziest International Sports Official."

I think the IOC is going to get one of those “Lifetime Achievement Awards” like they give every year at the Oscars.

I concur. I had to vote fifa. But I would like to give honorable mention to anyone who puts a fucking electric motor on a fucking bicycle in a fucking bicycle race. That’s some pretty good balls too.

Yeah, I mean, there’s only one that involves corruption of government officials, actual arrests, and potential jail time.

This is actually a tough one. I went with FIFA tho, cuz its the most brazen, nutty bag of dicks of them all. And the names of those guys are just priceless.

See I voted motodoping because it is to me the oddest of the choices. Racism, corruption, abuses of power, fist fights? That shit happens every day around the world. Sneaking tiny engines in to bicycles though? That’s some whacked out shit to me.

OMG, Ryan Reynolds’ face in that picture.

My first reaction was a genuine gasp and a whispered, “does he know other people can see him?”