This mahfugger is truly hardcore.

Yep, same here. In my case it was only $30,000, but still. You can never look at your parent the same way again.

Jim Tomsula's favorite movie is "Beaches."

My high school principal was Dick Cox. He was also a dead ringer for Don Knotts.

Looks like a DIY highlight job. Looks like she cuts her own bangs, too. None of those "luxurious" $6 beauty college haircuts for her!

Then we can DEFINITELY be bff's. Are you single? I know so many hot, single gay guys!

Only if you promise to stick nothing other than penises in my vagina.

Other than my OBGYN's speculum once a year, nothing goes in my vagina but dicks. No fingers, no vegetables, no tampons, not even dildos. I should shave "Penises Only" in my bush hair with a downward arrow, just to be safe if I get too drunk.

"One battery and three coins." Was someone trying to build a transistor radio in her twat?

Maybe he's sending us a message! From (soft) Rock n' Roll heaven!

"Saw my old lover in the grocery store...snow was falling, Christmas eve..." (sniff-sniff)

My thoughts exactly. They both give no fucks.

This is what finally freaked me the fuck out about Facebook, even though I knew the actual level of privacy was negligible. I replied to a friend's post with "he loves his soft rock." Thirty minutes later, an ad pops up for Dan-fucking-Fogelberg. Thank you, late, great Dan Fogelberg, for being the final FB straw. …

"lot." As in lot lizard?

I cannot imagine a worse name for picking up chicks. Klapprodt. Actually I just did. King Klapprodt.

Not that it really matters I guess, but is the recipient of the salad-tossing male or female? I see kind of a soft, round ass cheek, suggesting female, but I HAVE seen some pretty soft man ass in my lifetime.

WTF IS that thing, medical professionals/Web MDers?

Professor LlamasisCool concurs - Billy Clyde Puckett is correct. If the wife cheats on you, whether you know it or not, you're cuckolded. In Renaissance drama and comedy, a cuckold will often have horns appearing to grow from his head; a bit of dramatic irony suggesting to the audience he's been played for a foo but…

I have two formerly wild burros. They will rip inch-wide strips of flesh off each other's bodies, then kick the shit out of each other with both front and back legs, and throw some gnarly biting in just for giggles. And they're gelded. Imagine what they would do if they had their balls. Do not fuck with equines.

You should see what our little cat Rosie did to my son's foot this morning. Completely on accident, after being chased by our dog. Shredded the top of the kid's foot like a block of cheese. Cats have a million way to main, torture, and kill.