Just like most other addictions: if you don't abuse the thing you're risking addiction with, you'll probably be fine. I keep a thing of Burt's Bees in my medicine cabinet. I use it when my lips get chapped. I put it back when they are not chapped. This is also how I use most cures for problems; continuing to drink…

I suppose it's a good thing that they're not adding vegans or cruelty to their products. I'm kind of curious as to how one would add an abstract concept to lip balm. It probably involves transubstantiation.

I'm still baffled by the concept of "doctors who are willing to perform an abortion and also willing to go along with Virginia's court mandated insanity." It must be a pretty small overlap in the Venn diagram. (Note to self: make a snarky Venn diagram showing this concept.)

Be fair. They're "pro-life." They never claimed to be "pro-happiness" "pro-good-home-life" "anti-resentful-parenting-techniques" or "anti-suffering." They only care about life, not how it's lived.

Cost of fetus funeral + lost wages (due to depression) + medical bills (to treat depression + therapy bills (obvious) = objective costs of psychological damages.

My first thought was to go with "Rhodes."

There is a punishment associated with refusing the ultrasound. It lasts for around 18 years. (Humor aside, my understanding is that a lady simply won't be allowed to get an abortion without first receiving the ultrasound and listening to the state-prepared speech.)

As a wise hobbit once said,

Even as a kid, that scene always bothered me. In order to get that crazy-ass reflection there had to be some sort of crystal in the model city, right? Just how incredibly stupid were the Nazi archeologists who were unable to spot said crystal while examining the room? "Vell, zee light from our Staff of Ra is…

He was cold, not cryogenically frozen. Normal body temp is +37C.

Actually, to the majority of the English speaking world, "get me a Coke" means "get me some CocaCola." It's a regional thing to call all sodas coke. More common, people will accept any cola when asking for a coke.

I always keep my Xanax in the exact same spots (2 pills in the inside pocket of my favorite winter coat, one bottle in the front right corner of the top drawer of my dresser). There are few things in life more ironic and horrifying than having a panic attack get worse because you're freaking out over losing your…

I'm leaning towards "I will make aliens illegal in the United States. Too long have the Reptiloids been leeching off of the hard working American tax-payers; I mean this quite literally people! Reptiloids will attach to your abdomen and suck out your vital life fluids. Jesus told me all of this in a dream I had…

It's a quote from the show "Community." The characters apparently think they're rapping in Spanish, but the subs show the total gibberish they're actually saying.

No euphemism. It's just you're misinterperting the worth "with." The young lady was cutting hay with other women. They had a bunch of hay, but in order to increase their profit margin, they were adding women to the hay as an adulterant. It's kind of like when drug dealers add baking soda to their cocaine, only…

I'm not sure if that last sentence was intentionally hilarious, either way, grats on making me spray milk from my nose.

Because saying you'd punish women earns you less of the fundie vote than saying you'd punish evil baby-murdering doctors. Besides, the women get 18 years of punishment by default.

I believe the phrase you were looking for is"ob/gyn," not "abortion doctor."

Hey, just because Santorum is a giant closet case there is no reason to go pointing it out to people. Us queers are just fine without him getting lumped into our demographic, thank you very much!

Well, at least we can now be fairly sure that you're not a replicant.