I was also in DC during the sniper scare (visiting briefly). I was totally walking in zig-zags, but it might have had more to do with the massive drinking I was doing one evening than an armed nutcase.

I took it slightly differently. I assumed the officer was warning them about the dangers of having skin.

Aint it a Shame when people resort to bad puns like these? I'm willing to bet that Even in His Youth, Vitajex made jokes like these. It's like he's trying to type jokes With the Lights Out. So far, most of them kind of Blew anyway. But, If You Must make this type of joke, School yourself on a few more titles before…

Took me a second to parse that one out, but excellent post.

While that's an amusing sentiment, most shark attacks occur because the shark thinks the human is actually something else. Tiger sharks, for example, eat crabs from the seafloor. Crabs kick up dust in the water, which is the main way the tiger shark spots them. Unfortunately, wading humans also kick up sand. …

Meh. Semantics. Don't tell me you didn't understand the idea that @padme was trying to express. Fun thought: although the man in @padme's story might not be able to file charges for sexual assault, he could almost certainly file with a claim of "larceny by trick" if the mother requested child support and he could…

I am very curious as to your rationale for saying "there's no profit in treating it." @Dr.What is correct in saying anti-retrovirals are hideously expensive. Not only that, but people with HIV have no choice but to take lots of them, daily, forever. At least with cancer treatments tend to be intermittent.

I've got a pretty bad deviated septum, which means I get nose bleeds fairly often. This situation (nose bleeds from rapid temperature changes) has happened to me literally dozens of times. A pretty much universal constant of this problem is that the person who first notices me bleeding from my face says something to…

Italics are done with standard HTML tags. < i > (minus the spaces) will start italics, < /i > (also minus the spaces) will end the italics. You can also replace the "i" with "u" for underline, and "b" for bold. Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility.

Hot rice vinegar (the kind you use to make sushi) is fantastic for fighting a mild sore throat. It's murder in a bottle once your throat gets really bad, but as an early "head things off at the pass" approach, it's awesome. All you've got to do is drink about a shot at around the same temperature you enjoy your tea…

Depressingly frequently, the punk rock scene near me = homophobic losers.

Cat Scratch Fever! (Whew... was worried my brain might explode if i didn't get that one out.)

It's a turntable for cats. Nobody said DJ lessons would be included for free.

This is a true statement. Several of my friends are librarians and are constantly butting heads with older librarians about this exact issue. I really wish people would do some research before classifying a book they don't know anything about.

I've always found a combination of two laws in NYC to be particularly hilarious. First, it's illegal for the police to keep a corpse in a jail cell for more than 24 hours. Second, it's illegal to commit suicide (which I've always assumed was a prerequisite for blocking attempted suicide). So, while the bad news is…

Of course Republicans have gaydar. How do you think they end up in all those gay sex scandals? It's not like they trip, fall and "accidentally" end up impaled upon some dude's wang. The problem with typical Republican gaydar is that it returns a lot of false positives, in that anyone more liberal than them is…

I used to move practically anything by L. Ron Hubbard to the humor section. On a more practical note, I also used to move copies of "Ender's Game" away from the "young readers" area - just because a book is about children, doesn't mean it is for children.

Be realistic. iUSA doesn't roll off the tongue at all. Now iMerica? That's totally awesome.

"Unit Exposed" Tee hee!

23 tasers. I expect that all cops should be wearing gigantic chest straps covered with tasers ala Chewbacca's ammo belt. Anything less is just unacceptable. Furthermore, I think police should also carry a broadsword, two sets of nunchaku, a bazooka, three nerf pistols, a length of chain with a padlock at the end,…