Have you ever spilled a bag Flamin Hot Cheetos on your lap?!

He’s going to the Browns and you know it, never to be heard from again.

I agree with raising taxes to pay for social services, but this always aggrivates me from the rich. You can donate to charity. And if you don’t think you’re giving enough, you can give more! You don’t even have to claim it on your taxes!

I live in Southeast Michigan. In spite of this, regularly near my office I will see a car on the road — a yellow VW bug, decked out in green accents, with a vanity plate that reads NFLOWNR.

It’s over. Go home.

I want the wall. And I don’t give a fuck what some British asshole like John Oliver, who isn’t even funny in the first place, has to say about it.

I’m confused - you don’t want his book to be made and sold because you don’t agree with his message... and Trump is the nazi?

My first thought was that “alcohol may have been involved”.

instead of cosplay as soccer players you should use the proper term: Full Kit Wanker

I’m pretty sure the 10th division is just a bunch of guys who like to cosplay that they’re professional soccer players between working their shifts at Sainsbury’s.

Everybody in the UK is required to play soccer and is stuck in regimented divisions; failure to comply results in a mandated visit to Room 101*. Deadspin will cover any developments that happen in the 6th to 498th divisions.

She is afraid public will learn Brad is not the father of any of her children. - Maury

The truth about Brad Pitt is he left Jennifer Anniston for a psychopath and now he is finally realizing it.

You’re spending too much time on jez. Get it together, man

Calling Shaq a minstrel is...calling a spade a spade. Damn, that doesn’t read as well as I thought but I stand behind it.

Seriously though, what the fuck is up with his hair? Is it a rectangular rat tail?

McGee was close, but I think Kazaam proved that Shaq is less a minstrel and more of a “magical negro.”

Neither; Which is why I pointed out that you can’t recognize either of those two things. Thanks for proving my point.

Maybe that’s because you can’t recognize either?