I lived with 3 roommates in grad school, and we all had a toilet paper agreement wherein we would each take turns buying a 12 pack of toilet paper when the TP was running out. This one girl, we'll call her Angie, comes home with only a 4-pack (not even double rolls!) when it's her turn. We were like, "Cool, you didn't…

Do lies people tell themselves count? If so, this one was a doozy.

When I was about 15 years old everyone in my group of girl friends had touched a penis but me, which made me feel like quite the loser. So during a family vacay to NYC I decided to come up with an elaborate story about how I had given a guy named Jon a hand job in my hotel room as my parents slept nearby. The story…

I thought of a good one. I knew this girl who was in a complicated on and off relationship with a guy who had a kid with someone else. Apparently he would still sleep with his ex/babymama sometimes. Well while this messy love triangle was going on, his ex got pregnant. Within a week, the other girl miraculously…

This was actually a lie that I told. When I was four, my aunt got a divorce. My family and I visited Minnesota to visit her, and she took us for a ride in her new speed boat. It was the best thing that had ever happened to my landlocked, Iowan self.

My best friend accidentally sent me a text where she was taking shit about my lack of enthusiasm when we were shopping. When I asked her about it while laughing she said, no lie , "It wasn't me, a ghost sent it". Straight face. Needless to say my smile turned into a heavy frown.

An acquaintance who was known to be a pathological liar once got called out on the time he was claiming for a marathon. Without missing a beat he said "I could still run it that fast if I hadn't had open heart surgery a few years back".

Funding for that was cut.

My mother is a long-time public school teacher and I was a union rep at my university when I taught. Is there waste and largesse and excessive benefits for union officials? Yes. Are they essential for protecting those underpaid folks charged with educating against wayward admins? Hell yes. Unions are a mixed evil but…

Your Dad seems like a super wise guy. I'm glad you asked for his input on these.

I so want this to be a real reunion.

I was interning in DC after my sophomore year of college, and my "ex-boyfriend" who had just graduated came up "just for a visit" yeah right it was for sexytimes. So after the initial night of awkward subtext and are-we-gonna-have-sex-YES-WE-ARE-HAVING-SEX-but-really-quietly-because-of-roommate, we decided the next…

I am a story producer. There are story producers on every. single. reality show. This is not an expose. This means nothing. A story producer works in post production and tries to make sense of all the million hours of footage they are given and craft it into something watchable. Do your research Tracie.

Ooooooh, you fancy.

Sex joke to be named later

Ditto. Inner monologue is always something along the lines of "Damn, I'm good."

I always thought her last name was pronounced like someone from Boston saying "boners."

...Well knock me over with a feather. I can safely say that I did not see that coming.