...so if you punch them, they will light your brother's face on fire. I have seen this happen, and more than once.

Who knows? He sold her a line of bull. Or she's sympathetic to his beliefs. Some combination. It's all fun and games until you're the one in the hoodie.

My mother is not a meatloaf and that's a mean thing to say about that sweet woman. Plus, her meatloaf was terrible.

I guess you'll never really know how popular your kid's name is until they start to socialize with other children. But blows my mind that parents who don't want their kid to have a super popular name don't just do some simple research. Check social security databases for the top 100 names of the past year, look on…

These are literally the names that gave women identity issues in school because they weren't the pretty Jennifer or Ashley leading them to be strippers. The banality of their names directly reflect their phony parents place in the world and their dedication to raising plain Janes - Holden Caufield

The problem with that line of thinking is it's based on how you would treat a kid with an "embarrassing" name and not how kids are actually treated. I went to schools where kids had some really interesting names and those kids didn't get picked on by their peers because they didn't have a popular name. Kids with…

My niece and I noticed an overwhelming proportion of Jessicas on "Snapped" during a marathon viewing one weekend. It has been our slang for homicidal woman ever since. Also, they are almost always involved with a bad seed named Trey.

I know this space is reserved for made-up funny jokes and all, but I've blown a .32 at the methadone clinic the next morning. So, what I'm trying to say to is: I offer tutoring for clients with your potential and figure a special price of $0/hr. Contact on Twitter @DSdope.

Seriously, this is like the 3rd or 4th article this week that has made me feel like an ass for being an ally and not ACTUALLY being a black lesbian. I'm sorry, I had no idea my empathy and belief in equality for everyone regardless of race, religion or sexual orientation was so damn offensive to you. I'll just sit in…

So what's the lesson here? Straight artists can't advocate for the acceptance of LGBT people with their music; they just need to leave that stuff to people who are 'legit' LGBT? Or they can write that music, but they just need to tell people not to buy it to make sure it's not as successful as LGBT produced music?

My mom did this too, but only because she wanted my girlfriend to have the option of sleeping in a different bed apart from me if she wanted. That is, my mom didn't want my girlfriend to feel trapped. It became a policy; I could bring a girl home, but my mom would let her know the guest room would be at her disposal.

I'm 33 and my brothers are 29 and 25. Last year on our family ski trip we all brought our (unmarried) SOs. We all slept in separate bedrooms by gender, and will until we are Married In The Eyes Of Jesus. My youngest brother just got engaged and his fiance just moved in, and guess who will be sharing a room with her…

Oh, man. Maybe you can escape from that but I don't know if us ladies have the moral strength to save ourselves from situations such as these. I suspect all we can do is pray that a better man will come around to rescue us from the grasp of the devil.

I thought I'd found a good man who would save me from myself, but dammit, he insists on encouraging this terrible free-thinking of mine. What's a poor woman to do?

My liberty is not the ability to infringe someone else's liberty.

Okay. Repeat after me.

Hmm... Your first link was an amateur 'Being Fat is Healthy!' blog. No thanks. You might as well just link to the tumblr 'fatshion' posts.

Actually, that's wrong. If more calories go in than out, then you get fat. Otherwise, you get skinny. That's pretty unavoidable.

I did the depression weight-loss plan too, then bought a suit which I loved. Then I met someone new and got happy and ripped the bottom of the suit trousers and had to buy a new suit, and then I moved in with the person I'd met and she got me into a normal human routine with three decent meals a day rather than 5…

Speaking only for myself, as someone whose weight loss has probably saved my life, it makes me absurdly sad to think there are people out there who might want to lose weight but see all of this and start to think it's impossible. So I'm going to throw this out there for those people and those people only: As…