He seems to ageing into a strange amalgam of Keith Richards and Hunter S Thompson.

I don’t think people generally realize that New Zealand has no native mammals.

Oh my God, you named your dog Mr Fusspot and this makes you the best human.

Church looks like a politician caught in a compromising position.

“I wasn’t cuddling with a dog, I swear!”

Church later holds a press conference announcing that he (she?) is seeking therapy, while his (her?) cat-spouse stands beside him, glowering.

Sometimes I make her wear the Hat Of Suck.

Right. The Australian and New Zealand ecosystems already have to fight to retain native species. Adding more problems is just cruel to the quokkas and kakapos.

Mr Fusspot, on the other hand, has no truck with scofflaws. Harrumph.

BUT HE’S AN ARTIST!!

I had this poster on my wall freshman year of college and I regret nothing. But oh, Johnny, what have you become?

What is even going on with that stray patch of facial hair along his jaw line? I’ve seen better mustaches on 14-year-olds.

We have almost cat twins!! Mine is a total shithead tbh but I love him so much

Exactly. Ask anyone who has moved their pets or horses or whatever to Australia how much time and expense was involved, and they’ll have zero sympathy for Depp. It’s a huge PITA, but it’s their country, their ecosystem, and their rules.

TurkeyDog and Church are glad the Depp Poochiekinns aren’t dead.

Mr. Von Black is a Kiwi, and we are considering relocating there. Trust me when I say one needs to do the research and have the right papers in order to bring their furry compatriots (Hugo Chavez The Red Menace, Cardinal Fang and Steve, in our case...), or you will end up with a quarantined animal, tons of fees, or…

He used to mean so much to me. And now he has rogue patches of wiry hair on his neck and purple tinted glasses and I don’t know where it all went wrong.

That’s Marlon Brando levels of ‘No thanks.’

gross

My mother, in one of her weirder fads, got the culture starter thingy for kombucha when I was in high school. She kept it in a bucket in our laundry and she named the resulting snot slime monster 'Lionel'. Lionel lasted in his bucket for ages, my mother trying to get us to drink this fucking revolting tea ‘for our…

Hypocrisy is the gross part.

The same also appears to be true when male politicians and religious figures talk about how evil and disgusting homosexuality is.....and then we find out that they are gay.