No way would I see this in a theater. Subject myself to the sound of other people’s chewing for 2 hours? Worry about my seat creaking and annoying everyone around me? This is like a panic attack waiting to happen

Yeah, I snore, so I would be dead. And forget about taco night.

Speaking of near silent horror films, has anyone seen Hush? I never really heard any hype about it when it came out last year, but I finally just caught it on Netflix after seeing it had a 94% score on Rotten Tomatoes and was directed by the guy who did the new Gerald’s Game adaptation. I thought it was really, really…

“Lately I’ve been thinking about forcing my boyfriend to attend an escape room with me just so I can see how strong of a couple we’d be in the event that the world falls apart.”

Of course it’s a game of Monopoly that destroys their existence. Just as the Good Lord and Parker Brothers intended.

I will need to understand why they would choose to live in a situation that required total silence for fear of death! I seriously hope they explain that in the beginning of the movie

No, no, no. There isn’t a link between older fathers and autism. That’s just too damn logical. It’s the vaccines! Always the vaccines! Men are never at fault for anything in utero!

The real reason that Nico and Bethany are not welcome at family functions is probably because everyone is sick of hearing about how enlightened, totally not jealous, and liberating their relationship is.

“The real reason that Nico and Bethany are not welcome at family functions is probably because everyone is sick of hearing about how enlightened, totally not jealous, and liberating their relationship is.”

Everything about Rose’s drug arrest appears to be sketchy.

Really? You’re honestly saying that if someone told you that they’d heard a rumour that a close friend of yours was a sexual predator, you’d immediately end all contact with them forever, no questions asked? Wow.

That literally didn’t happen. All the women that worked on TDS came out and said Jezebel was full of shit, he hired loads of women (in creative and in all areas) and Jez looked dumb. He did not “trot” anyone out.

To the dude who I just dismissed who gave a version of But it was just seeing a penis. What’s so bad about that? Women are sexual beings. You can’t have it both ways um, yes we can. It is NEVER appropriate to whip your dick out at a colleague unless she has explicitly asked you to AND holds the same amount of…

MAX IS A FUCKING CHAMPION I LOVE HIM. MAX, IF YOU’RE READING THIS: JULIANNE AT JEZEBEL LOVES YOU AND YOUR RAVE MOVIE

THat’s why you’re in the lead for the next Nobel Peace Prize award

Just because there’s a rumor about a friend, doesn’t mean you believe it.

I understand that Deadspin has a sorted past of posting dong shots, but I think they’re consistently the best of the neo-Gawker sites as far as journalism goes. In between posts about bears and dogs (WHO ARE BOTH VERY GOOD AND COOL, don’t get me wrong), Deadspin has some seriously great investigative pieces and real…

An old joke... BUT BY GOD I LAUGHED

“Just wanted to more formally apologize for me email earlier.”

Who the fuck is Nev Schulman?