This article is more beautiful than its subject.

Spectreman would like a word with you.

This one looks a lot more like what Jesus would have actually looked like. Y’know, being born and raised in the Middle East and all.

Science teacher at a fundamentalist Christian school?

Being Mike Pence's "wife"? She has a flair for the absurd.

Is there a more pointless job than being an art teacher at a fundamentalist christian school?

What kills me is how these assholes get away with it time and time again because even if they’re arrested and charged they can’t be convicted unless there are witnesses but the victim rarely testifies because she’s too scared and/or in love with her abuser, and friends and family can only do so much. And this is a…

Makes sense - apparently nobody else wants to date them, so they’e dating each other (kind of makes me wonder what affairs are going on too). 

Foo fans is fun to say. Foo fans. Foo fans. 

Who is Van Tour? Some Dutch rock star I’ve not heard of?

yes!

And Doc is always hitting on women that are a bit young for him to boot...he’s definitely a bit of a ‘creepy uncle’ 

So was Jaws and it showed some pretty gnarly stuff. 

If they had balls, they would have cast a little person as Mr. Roarke.

You had one job, movie. One. Freakin’ Job. 

I re-watched Happy Death Day recently and I’d forgotten how completely not scary it was. Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but it’s not exactly a spine-tingler.

I’ve never seen Fantasy Island, but just from the perspective of TV craft it seems like a pretty brilliant concept. An endless stream of standalone stories, you can play around in any genre you want, and an easy reset button at the end of the episode. Plus a perfect plug-and-play set-up for any guest star who just…

Yea, but there’s occasionally a PG or PG-13 horror film that has Steven Spielberg involved that manages to BS its way past the MPAA and traumatize a generation of children.

Oh, I don’t know. Are We There Yet? was PG, and it was terrifying.

agreed ... save for one aspect: FUCKING PG-13.  What’s with this trend?  I’m a horror movie buff and I’ll admittedly watch, and find some value, in just about anything in the genre.  But do you know what IMMEDIATELY turns me off to a horror movie?  A rating less than R.  UGH