As a quilter-adjacent personage, I have been sternly advised if the fabric scissors were ever used to cut something they were not designed to cut, I would have to pay to have them professionally resharpened. Seeing how much that cost made me exclaim, “But what it’s just a pair of scissors.”

My boyfriend picked up my fabric scissors to open a package a few months ago and in retrospect he might not have needed to hear quite so much about ever ruined pair of fabric scissors I’ve ever owned to get my point but boy, he really gets it now!

As a quilter and sewer I literally assumed this was going to be drama of someone using someone else’s fabric scissors on non fabric and I want you to know that in my head I thought war was FULLY justified just based on that.

I still have no idea what caused them - they have to be clogged sweat ducts or something. I’ve gotten clogged armpit pores before (sexxxy) and they’re like little zits and stuff...this was like...CANCER LUMP. They went away pretty much the moment I stopped using the deodorant!

That all sounds logical, but then Trump got elected president. In previous elections, he was considered a fringe candidate. But somehow, over time, he managed to move enough of the party to his side and got enough votes to be elected. Now, sure, between actual voters and citizens who could vote but don’t, he still…

Okay, so I used to be an Evangelical Christian anti-abortion fanatic. As a currently sane person who adamantly supports reproductive freedom, this aspect of the current hardline turn to the Right is actually somewhat encouraging.

I think if they’re going to charge women, no exceptions, then they should do DNA tests on all stillborn and aborted fetuses and charge the male parent equally, no exceptions.

I mean if they want women under 100% control of their menfolk, then the men are the ones to be held accountable for “their” women, right?  /s

I mean, I understand where they’re coming from. You can’t really “rape” a pro-life woman; instead, you “offer her a chance to participate in motherhood.” Anything she says indicating that she feels she’s been “raped” is just indicative of her failure to be properly grateful for the chance she’s been given. 

I remember he did one song with Gwen stefani back when Gwen stefani was riotgrrrl Gwen Stefani and not dating-voice-cohost Blake Shelton. I remember that one because at the time she was so badass. However it’s now occurring to me that a) the song wasn’t really good and b) was really just about two white people scared…

I had surgery a few years ago and got a whole kit of anti-bacterial soap, shampoo and wipes from the hospital that I had to scrub myself with. Maybe send a carton of those to Bieber? Send along a nurse who makes sure he does it right, the instructions were very detailed and you need a timer

Look...just “bless his heart.”  That’s all I got.

At least he didn’t bust out any REO Speedwagon covers.

I shouldn’t be surprised anymore, but Fox News’ lame attempt to spin it really pissed me off too.

I nearly laughed my ass off today when House Minority Leader howled about “How many investigations do we need????” Well, Benghazi needed like what ten? So how about we do more than ONE!

I’ve worked for doctors who went into public service. There’s a reason they don’t practice medicine. Public service seems to be their fallback career choice. They get to have all the ego trips with none of the responsibility of a mortality review board.

I wanted to like Schmidt’s so much...but it gave me the scariest fucking lumps in my armpits. Not pimples...huge under skin LUMPS. I legit thought I had cancer. This is the one time I thought “thank God for the internet”, because I found lots of reviewers with the same reaction, and I switched and they went away. It…

Every time I read about Carson, or see him on TV, I end up thinking to myself “Is he REALLY a brain surgeon?........REALLY?” I’m thinking this will always be the case.  

He looks like no matter how many Purel showers he takes, he will look dirty.

Please wear deodorant. 

I have gone into Ann Taylor because of the window photos so many times and everything looked so dowdy and matronly on me//was straight up too big with the exception of like a single part of my body.