I’d love to have the Bourbonista Endowment for art history scholarships at my alma mater. But that art history degree ain’t making it rain.

We’re in the Army and usually do the local public schools, but we did do a Catholic school for two years at one particular base because the local public schools had such a terrible, violent reputation, even at the elementary school level. I had to do a lot of soul searching about that, as my mom was a public school…

For real. See also: Lee Pace in GotG.

Similar to the ocean, but way better. Swimming in freshwater is amazing, you don’t have itchy salt on your skin after, even after drying off, and you don’t gag when someone splashes water in your mouth. It’s a wholly superior experience.

In Canada, all men named Ryan must impregnate their woman at the same time.

Most retired presidents fund libraries. Obama will fund a kindergarten.

I GET NIPPLE ADJACENT BLACK HAIRS TOO AND SOMETIMES LOOKS AT MY BF AFTER TWEEZING THEM ALL AND ASK HIM HOW HE COULD EVER LEARN TO LOVE A BEAST THEY ARE THE WORRRRRSST

I very much enjoyed the Turkish Airlines commericials that were travel ads for Gotham City featuring pillar of the community Bruce Wayne and Metropolis featuring pillar of the community Lex Luthor. Those spots are better than the movie.

I LOVE THIS MOVIE SO MUCH.

Michael Pena was fucking EXCELLENT and is half the reason I’m dying to see the second movie.

People are the worst. This will show my age, but my BFF was in a theater playing "saving Private Ryan" and was seated behind a man and his circa-6-YO son. The boy was cringing and hiding his face during the Normandy beach scene and the father turns to him and says "Man up, soldier."

Yup! I have one of those near me. It’s where I went to see the Harry Potter movies because I wanted to actually be able to watch and hear the movie.

We don’t have an age-restricted theater nearby, but I can guarantee you that if we did, my husband would be on board for that no matter thr cost, because when we went to the movies near our new house for the first time, the kid next to me - max 16 years old - got a blow job from his girlfriend (also not older than…

The closest one to me is about an hour or so away but it is totally worth it.

When I saw Deadpool a dad and his very young sat infront of me. About 8 min into the movie he turned to his son and said with dread on his face “never tell your mother we watched this.”

Look, it’s important that pre-adolescent children learn about International Women’s Day.

People, please start believing that health care IS the miracle God sent you.

Just wait until the tweens start showing up at hospitals with ears plugged up with foundation.

They’re Corgis. Of course they need to eat better than humans - humans could never be that cute.

Me too, but too expensive.