ew. Maybe his wife cares, but then marrying him makes me question her taste in men.

Nobody cares about his boner. Except Andy Cohen. 

Does he though? The joke was:

Soooooooo Shaft is getting the shaft...

You passed up the chance to write “bad dad is sad”. Je suis disappoint.

Pete Davidson’s joke was “Britney Spear’s didn’t have a terrorist attack at her concert”? That’s the joke? That’s A joke? I don’t even know if it’s necessarily tasteless, but how would that be considered funny at all?

I second that sentiment wholeheartedly. This quote tells me everything I need to know about him.

omg the justin timberlake song is utter garbage. 

A source said: “Thomas is heartbroken. He is at a complete loss as to why he has been excluded.”

I think it’s because JS actually cares about her customer’s needs. Ivanka care about making a quick buck. 

off-brand post-it notes

I have only encountered one item from her that was not a great fit/comfortable. (Her pants/shorts are cut small)

But do you think Jessica Simpson has any concept of what would be considered expensive for sushi delivery?

Very true- but still wish drunk me would’ve just eaten a box of Mac and cheese at the house! 

I take back a lot (but not all) of the shit I’ve talked about Simpson over the years. If she wanted to become a hermit blowing $100k/mo on deliveries then “way to spread the wealth, Jessica!” Where’s the harm?

Just wanted to say that Jessica Simpson’s brand maternity clothes are the shit. They’re the only pieces I bought during my pregnancy that made me feel like a put together human woman and not an incubator whale. Definitely stocking up and giving her allllll the money for postmates next time around!

^^^TRUTH

We would all feel great in our skin if we looked like that in a bikini. The thirst there is real. 

Don’t feel bad, it’s cheaper and safer than a DUI!