From the reviews it sounds as if the entire museum is museum jail

I wheezed laughed so hard at this. You are truly doing the lord’s work.

My friend’s psycho Christian parents did this to him when he was a sophomore to scare the gay out of him. 😥

Reddit AsianBeauty is awesome! Those girls really know their biz!

Dear C.A Pinkham,

Well at least we’ always have Paris 😉

Btws, are you the blue angel? I keep looking for Gepetto to turn me into a real girl

Seriously, how much can a lunch compromised of canned green beans, mystery meatloaf, and fruit cocktail cost? Especially when you adjust for the economy of scale that the goods are purchased with.

Oh shit, now you're gonna be trying to tell me that Pflugerville and Leander are legit Austin:0

Hey hope I can bring a little sunshine into your life. When I was the poor kid of a single, college student mom. Not only did I get the free lunch program, but I also got free breakfast(that included waffles motherfuckers). This was in the early 80s, though:/

Hahaha, I love it! Back when I was selling cars, we had mandatory daily call-lists of potential customers. Anyhoo, I had a colleague who had creditors calling, so I added all of those creditors numbers to my calling list. Yeah, after being kurflumoxed by my hard pitch they stopped calling

Exactly my takeaway 🙌

So you like cabbage? Cool story bro

Aflleck seems to have really revealed himself to be real douchelord where as Matt Damon appears to be a mensch, in 1998 I would have been able to predicted this :(

I would be totally cool with Twin Peaks, if only they would accept my request to be the resident Log Lady. I would carry that log with pride, as I approached each table with my ominous non-sequiturs.

And this is exactly why when my mom starts speaking wistfully about wanting to see her 2.5yo grandson my answer is sure just pick a place that Amtrak goes and we’ll meet you. I may have to build travel time into the vacation, but for less than the cost for one ticket to see her I get a 2 bedroom sleeper, can bring all…

I discovered, much to my chagrin, that the magic sleeping potion of Benadryl has zero effect on my son when I had to give it to him for hives at 6 months =( . I only have enough Xanax to get me through a commute and I ain’t sharing

Eh, I was in the skincare/salon biz for a long time and I feel like a lot of the underlying work I was doing was transactional friendship with some therapy thrown in. I would be with my clients for hours, we would have long conversations about their lives, they'd ask me about mine, and there was a lot more touching…

My step-mother, who is at least 20years older than my dad, had her kids in the 50s. When I was knocked up a few years ago she could not get over the fact that my dr. was cool with me gaining 30-35lbs. She said that she gained 10-12lbs with each of her pregnancies :D per dr.’s orders. I'm generally pretty healthy and I…

My 2.5 year old son responds to about half of everything I say with a stern, finger to lips, librarian shush...and that's why I've upped my wine consumption.