I can see why someone named Skyler would have to correct the sky record on a joke about the sky. You may return to the clouds now, sky being.

NaziGermany? More like NaziTheJoke.

You’d think a big macho FOOTBAW man could handle a follow up question or two (or at least, say, “I’m not going to answer that,” without acting like a pulsating hemorrhoid), but nope. They never can. They’re so emotionally volatile.

If The Nightly Show had to die to get Ricky Velez off of TV, then it was worth it.

Anyone stupid enough to try to revolt is going to quickly find out the difference between military training and dipshit internet weirdo hero fantasy.

The only thing these people have in common with Trump is they’re absolute cowards who like to talk a big game. If any of them are stupid enough to try to “take back their government,” they’ll end up like the Bundys.

Oh, a “confused electronics system.” OK. That clears everything up then.

I wish there was a thing called double caps, so I could write this even bigger:

As difficult as it may be to wrap your head around the idea, Barry, most everyone doesn’t fuck like you.

I’ve hey’d. I’ve also how you doing’d, hey there’d, and I may have even howdy’d once. After such a sweaty, intense, animalistic experience, my guess is it’s a way to reconnect after a vulnerable act. In other words, it’s a way to say, “I may have had my face buried in your ass for 20 minutes, but I’m still the fun guy…

I never understand why guys can’t help themselves from “liking” erotica on Twitter or “hearting” scantily clad women on Instagram or commenting “oh ya gurl so hot” on a seductive Facebook post. Even if they’re not married and doing this from their work accounts (though plenty of them are), what do these guys expect to…

“Armenian Weightlifter Suffers Horrifying Injury”

I can see your point for basketball, but since this article is about Brandon Crawford, let’s stick to baseball. Why would a 14-inning game diminish a performance, but a 9-inning blowout with each batter getting 7 at-bats wouldn’t? An individual batter doesn’t control the amount of times he comes up to bat. On the…

You East Coast motherfuckers don’t even know about Dutch Crunch. I feel sorry for you all. Sad!

Incidentally, you’re the biggest asshole here considering you felt it necessary to minimize the death of 5 human beings to make some bizarre point nobody asked of you. You should really go outside once in a while.

Stupid, white, and male sounds like a great way to go through life.

It should go without saying that in an ideal world the police’s behavior wouldn’t be as reprehensible as the criminals they’re arresting.

As a lifelong Warriors fan who can’t afford even the cheapest seats, last night (as I do every night), I cursed all those bland, transplant, khaki-wearing tech assholes. I don’t have a beef with their bandwagoning. Everyone loves a winner. It's human nature. But if you’re gonna do it, stay to the end and cheer the…

These words are shit, but you knew that, Billy.