Maybe it is because they have no mouths! That is some creepy shit. And they only live long enough as adults to reproduce. That is pretty brutal. If only human men could take a page from their book. BAM, MISANDRY.

Boulder has maxed its capacity for 20-something, affluent, average height, unwashed, white guys with greasy, long, wavy, brown hair who are trying to figure things out and experience life. He is waiting to get on the waitlist.

All these images are supposed to be funny but just made me really sad.

but the parks do need money...

Crushing nuns? She better not make that a habit.

I can understand how some people might mistake that for Satan, but that is clearly the archangel Gabriel’s cat named Snickers that jumped on the food image transmitter.

Add making me side with Fox News to the reasons I hate Donald Trump.

The day you make fun of people for calling it “mac and cheese” (because ‘mac’ is much easier for children to say than ‘macaroni’ and some things just stick) is the day you become even more of an asshole than you already were.

I would totally read a version of a fake Franzen novel about vaginas and how they are like America!!!!!!! As long as Franzen didn’t write it, it would be awesome!!!

Yes, yes, yes, yes, and you bet your sweet ass! “Pam’s garden had gone to seed, but certain corners still recalled, if you squinted, the vestiges of the lush immaculateness that had made the garden such a source of admiration in earlier days.” (The garden is a metaphor for Pam’s vagina. And, like, America.)

Will there be a trip through the East coast area where the white guy meets zany characters? Including a wise man of color? Does he bed a free spirited woman who teaches him something about his life? Will he come back to his roots at the end and understand himself a bit better and speak of the skies and the end of…

Hey Jezzies, whatcha drinking? Vernors and codeine cough syrup for me! This gal has bronchitis! I’m loaded up on antibiotics, steroids, tesslon pearls and cough syrup. Ah, the joys of living with an ER nurse.

That was my thought as well.
Dude needs to stay in his lane.

Chris Brown trash-talking his ex? Doesn’t that just mean he’s a true feminist according to the Book of Kanye?

On the other hand

“We’ve secretly switched this Fundamentalist Mormon’s child wife with a xenomorph. Let’s see if he notices.”

Xenomorph wore it better.

Well this is a welcome break from looking at The Orange One Who Shall Not Be Named.