I desperately need this. I went to a Christmas party last night in a charming clean home (despite the fact a 3 year old lives there), full of elegant successful charming people, good food that didn't come from a Mac and cheese box, and what did my toddler do? Grabbed the host's hairbrush and used it to aggressively…

I absolutely hate the culture of "happiness" that is so ingrained in America. It's unhealthy and it's annoying.

It took me a minute to comment, I watched this several times, and rewound several portions and I can't deny the relevance of her claims. The issues that the LGBT community may have with her are not the ones that directly impact me so I won't address them in this moment. Her experience as a black woman in industry…

Team cat headquarters here,

Yesterday I had the stomach flu. Today? Oh, today was a whole new kettle of worms. You see, the Big Foot and her friend, Not so Big Foot were supposed to be upstairs. Instead they wandered off so instead of getting the lights and decorations up I had to go and wrangle these little buttholes back home. Now, I spot them…

My favorite is: those who can, teach. Those who can't, make laws about teaching.

I'll just copy and paste what I wrote on Gawker:

When it comes to rich people's kids, I FAR prefer these two weirdos to all of the spoiled Kardashians and Hiltons and whatnot.

It is where we organize our efforts to pit the boomers and millennials against each other. Also, a John Hughes film festival.

I guess it's a special weather treat just for me to celebrate my first real Winter. It's so weathery! SO much weather.

She is 11. A cantankerous, obnoxious and very selfish 11.

And then, after a period of time, the woman is all, "Forsooth, dear knight, thou hast paid for my Starbucks and diarrhea-burgers every time we have met. Truly, thou hast bought me fair and square, and I must now marry you, and cook for you, and clean for you, and serve for you, but only if thou asketh me first,…

If someone says that 2 major things have broken the appropriate response is NOT 'well, these things happen in threes." On Wednesday night my furnace decided that with possible snow coming that that would be an A-okay time to just stop working. I call the furnace repair man- no one can come until Monday afternoon and…

Well, I guess I'll spend my Saturday night watching every Clams and Hunx video. I fucking love them. Better get the kiddos to bed...

before Obama and the koala there was Jimmy Carter and the giant swimming rabbit. never forget.

So. I am here to give an update about what happened last week when I fled from my emotionally abusive boyfriend. I've been posting about trying to get out of this relationship for a while but had been very very stuck do to being very very poor and very alone in a new city and not being able to afford a place of my own…

Also, I'll just leave this here:

FUCK YOU STUPID FUNDAMENTALISTS, STOP MAKING MY RELIGION LOOK LIKE IT'S FOR INSIPID, NARROW-MINDED IDIOTS.

You know who I just HATE and blame for everything?