I wish that just once, when a politician/celebrity is caught in a scandal (especially cheating) the wife would skip the press conference and file for divorce.

Some researchers suggest that behavioral addictions, like sex, porn watching, gambling, are closer to compulsive disorders than to addictions. While there is not tolerance or dependence for behaviors in the same sense that there are for substances, those behaviors result in stimulation of brain chemicals for which…

Back in 2007, I wrote this Christmas Carol for my dog.

My last dog had a criminal history backstory woven over the course of seven years. It began when he was hired at the local video store and got in the habit of eating people who rented movies about cats. Not satisfied, he started eating anyone who rented any bad movies. He was dubbed The Popcorn Killer. Later he…

It's like they were "made for each other". HAHAHAHAha..ha..ha...ohhh.. well at least it was funny in my head.

Our cat is in a cone. Every day, I take it off to feed him, and then when he's finished, I put him on and sing, "Please don't bite me, please don't bite me, shit-ty cat! Shit-ty cat! I really like my fingers (I REALLY like my fingers), you shit-ty cat."

It goes to the tune of Frere Jacques. You are welcome.

I never sing to my dogs every day all the time. Shut up! You don't know my life! (Mostly I sing about how bad they are and how I wish they would stop shitting on the rug/trying to hump the foster dog/eating my shoes.)

Well, personally, I can't think of a better way to go than with a glass of Chateau Lafite in one hand and a nice Tokaij in the other. I suppose this is toodleoo to you all, because I've been chugging the stuff since puberty...

I understand that abstractly, anti-abortion people think abortion is murder.

You are in fact correct, but I think Betty said it best.

"My dearly beloved spirit wife, let me show you my Pearls of Great Price whilst you smear jello salad on me..."

This is one of those tough situations I encounter as well. I can only offer what I've learned from teaching thousands of students: She wants to engage. Do not. You seem to have made it VERY clear to her about which method is preferred.

Virginian lesbians, however, may continue to scissor in peace.

DEAR PENTHOUSE FORUM:

And the tight bottoms, oh the bottoms.

We should promote this into a new disgusting pick-up line.

It's unbelievable, isn't it, Bob? My best friend made $5000 a month selling cronuts from his home, and you can, too.

Judging on my limited knowledge of pastry baking and the image above, I can say with certainly that the recipe is something like:

1- make croissant dough.
2- instead of slicing it into triangles and rolling it into crescents, cut out circles as you would a shortbread cookie. Larger, though.
3- poke hole?
4- fry
5- frost
6…