Avril has Lyme disease? More like Lame disease, am I right? No? I’m not right? It’s actually Lyme disease? Oh, that sounds serious. I hope she has a speedy recovery.

*looks up from phone*

I have always depended upon the kindness of strangers.

I read the 'tee hee hee,' of course, as a falsetto TEE-heehee. Followed by a crotch grab.

Let's arm our drones with translated classic Western literature, music files, seeds, water and supplies. Maybe if we start dropping those payloads, things could improve. The money we save on munitions can go towards funding smart, private American businesses working to create alternative, sustainable energy…

"Can I get a caffe' latte, please?"

"When Rosa Parks said she didn't give up her bus seat because she was tired, she meant that she was tired of being treated like a second-class citizen, not that she was physically exhausted. This is clear in the full context of her statement. The idea that she was just a quiet lady…

Yours in Christ,

Probably be closer to the line if you said he was Deadspin's "hippest writer, but still so articulate!"

Normally I'd like to either make a pun about Wes's name, or say a non sequitur that misses the point entirely. In this case, it's a wash.

I'm beginning to think Jaden is the reincarnation of Buddha's slower younger brother, Gary.

He only renounced it because he heard that Canada was having a meeting and they were going to revoke it anyway.

In relation to Ozzie, or in relation to Leo?

Wait, the goalie from Slapshot is now a coach?

Back in 1978, I daresay Mr. Ali was at the peak of his fame. The summer of that year I was living in Washington, D.C., working as an intern for a grassroots lobbying group. I was the quintessential poor college kid with no discretionary funds for entertainment: So, I walked. Everywhere.

Judging by your rather heavy-handed attempt at "ebonics", yes, your racism is showing.

GWB: Selma's the gal that wouldn't get off the bus, right?

Yeah, that's an EU wall socket. FALSE FLAG! FALSE FLAG!!!!1

Patient dog is patient.