This little Rodgers had most beef, this little Rodgers had Munn....

Fuck Jordan Rodgers in half with a Scottish caber. Good for Aaron Rodgers for trying to raise money for the victims of a horrible catastrophe, and double-good for him for cutting toxic people out of his life. One has zero to do with the other.

I’ve never been more excited to watch two people have to coexist as pallbearers.

“Yes, and once all the minutes are used up it’s very important to smash the phone.” - Tom Brady

“Why didn’t he just get a new phone when his minutes were used up?”
-Roger Goodell

It’s not Aaron’s fault. He lent Mike McCarthy his cell phone and the dude used up all the minutes. 

I’m not trying to logic you, Jordan my man, but it sounds like your mom had enough shit to take care of, without having to sweat answering the phone.
This is why you’ll always be the #2 son.

“By mistake.” ;)

The best wine is the wine that is there

I only celebrate the Irish after they lose their bowl game every year.

1. Thanksgiving

I feel like we need to know more about Laura before we can judge this list.  Christmas Eve for a person without kids is absolutely fantastic.  Christmas Eve for a parent trying to drunkenly put together a Power Wheel is a nightmare.

Thanksgiving is special because it comes during the week and is gluttony to the highest degree.  No trees, only vicarious joy at watching the Cowboys lose and a big-ass bird.  

Having only your staff pic to go on, you seem in the correct age range to have placed New Year’s (Eve and Day) above other holidays.

I got chickenpox as a child.

This list is bad and you should feel bad.

I am also of the generation before the vaccination. My brother came home with them and my mom basically rubbed him on me so I’d get them too, to spare me the potential complications if I got them as a teen or adult. I still have a pockmark on my forehead from scratching.

Not to mention the possibility of getting shingles when you get older. I wish the vaccine had been around when I was a kid, back then the thought process was, well might as well expose them to it now and get it over with.

Christ, this is like trying to vote for which Legion of Doom member has the most repressed sexuality.

Clay Travis is the worst, but you know he’ll be actively rooting to win so he can brag about it in a bad troll attempt, so please don’t vote for him.