Yeah, homemade ketchup is typically pretty bad. One restaurant near my house tried to push their special brand of awful on people for a while. Eventually they would keep some Heinz around if you asked. They finally abandoned the idea a year or so ago.

Considering PG had one of the top selling shoes last year, I don't think BBB are big enough ballers to make that deal. 

For future reference, Deadspin is 50% sarcasm, 30% puns, and 15% sarcastic puns. 

Location location location. Where I currently live, $400k will get you a shack that you’re probably better off burning down than trying to live in. A liveable starter home is closer to $650k. Where my family’s located, $400k is a freaking mansion, and a starter is about $100k. It takes some adjustment to move from the…

My brain seized up for a second and I couldn’t finish reading. Saved $30k for a down payment on a $400k “starter” home. Just want to say a big f you to the boomers who created this market then give us crap for not buying houses like they did when they were starting out (and houses were $20-30k).

Good to know. Last time I went through HNL was before the trial period started. I also saw on the news where they put a cap on surge pricing over there. So maybe it is a good option there. 

Yeah, I’m not advocating for public transit. Just stating that Uber and Lyft aren’t available at some airports (due to local politics protecting cabs or extorting fees from cab companies that they can’t get from ride share apps). So look up the info ahead of time. 

Not sure on pork, but I know chicken can get mushy if you let it set too long. I'd imagine other meats are the same. 

The reverse sear is really underrated and works infinitely better than the old “searing locks in the juices” lie.

I’m not sure if O’Hare is terrible, or if I think it’s terrible because I’ve only gone through there on United. Either way, avoid O’Hare seems like good advice. 

You can always try to grab a Lyft or Uber, but check local regulations before you go. Some places don’t allow rideshare apps to pick up at the airport. In Hawaii (at least at Maui and Honolulu airports) you can be dropped off but not picked up at the airport by Lyft and Uber.

I've seen this. It's ok. Also seen it where you spread the meal out over the cards and whoever has cash covers the tip. There's lots of ways to do it with varying levels of annoyance for the server depending on the pos they use. Asking to split before ordering is usually best. 

As someone who used to live in a rural area where it wasn’t uncommon to butcher a whole hog or side of beef, a big chest freezer was almost a necessity.

I got an aftermarket temperature controller and turned my chest freezer into a beer fridge.

You could get some sort of insulation or foam to wrap it in to help. Just be sure you don’t restrict air flow. The vent location should be pretty obvious. Make sure you don’t cover it.

That or no one has cash or only half do and it’s a pain to say $10 on the blue card and $23 on the green one and $18 in the red, etc.

Try to make an autocorrect joke and autocorrect ducking betrays me

Here’s a terrible idea: how about she gets attacked or has and accident early on and then had to wear some sort of mask or full body suit that helps keep her alive. Could recast with anyone and use any voice.

“Can’t we all be mature” says the immature jealous person trying to control their friends and prevent them from having mature adult relationships.

Looks like an excellent way to clean out the fridge.