My favorite Mallrats story, Shannon got to keep her wardrobe from the movie that’s why there are so many costume changes. Kevin Smith doesn’t think it’s funny but I do.

I don’t think those two highly-made-up characters say any such damn thing to their actual children. I think they go sleep deep sleeps in side-by-side hyperbaric chambers while their nanny watches the children.

I’m beginning to think Justin Beiber is a bit of an asshole.

Dorit makes me rage - she’s so stupid she can’t even properly own up to what her stupidity has caused.

He’s her Cedric.

“Great Umbrage” is a village outside Bolton.

As we like to say, there are millions of people not buying his albums.

no offense to white hills

Ranch dressing is for city folk.

A guy who came in second on American Idol.

I call bullshit. Everyone knows that the only real ethnic slur for a white person is “racist.”

“If the tables had been turned and I had used something...and been as insensitive as to say something like that, you’re talking about I would be boycotted, there would be people not buying my albums...”

He was upset they didn’t use his proper title “Possibly THE Whitest Boy.”

The stereotype that white people always carry ranch dressing around with them is not cool anymore. When you say ‘He’s already got his, that white boy over there’” don’t just fucking assume I’m carrying my own ranch dressing around with me you hurtful monster. I need it for my tenders and when you assume that I already…

We all know that nobody suffers from discrimination more than white boys from Alabama. Poor thing.

Brad Pitt is actually three kids stacked together

She is afraid public will learn Brad is not the father of any of her children. - Maury

The truth about Brad Pitt is he left Jennifer Anniston for a psychopath and now he is finally realizing it.

Some people think Stevie Wonder isn’t actually blind. (There’s a video that makes it look like he caught a falling microphone stand that he theoretically wouldn’t know was falling if he was blind. It’s all very silly—as most celebrity conspiracy theories are.)

What’s that one?