My Instagram is full of flowers, either from my backyard or walks in a park.

Avril better shut off her phone today. ‘Cause you know her phone would blow up with people forwarding this to her.

I get my mason jars by being lazy and using Classico for my meat sauce, and then soaking off the label.

I’ve stayed at a Ritz-Carlton several times, albeit the Tucson location. It was very nice. I’ve also enjoyed stays at several JW Marriotts.

That was super bitchy. Plus, you can use Marriott points at a J.W. Marriott or a Ritz. Not too shabby.

“Would I Lie to You” - Eurythmics

I worked a lot in a high school darkroom in the 80’s. That pink powder soap was the best at scrubbing off the chemical smell from my hands.

I know, right?

Food puns can be so ham-handed.

Aw, I’ll miss the Vane.

The Rock, the Rock, always the Rock.

McFarland and the Papa John guy have the same kind of face to me. Like their faces are plastic, or they are actual living CGI people.

Oh my god, sooooooo much fun.

A little more, I think. Although my daughter asked me to stop talking about it at the grocery store.

Oh, baby, that’s a bad gif.

Every time I told my family we should go to the “Peanuts” movie, they thought I said Penis movie. So maybe there was a breakdown in their communication.

As long as you don’t go on about Trump’s chest puffing and pelvis thrusting.

Also more effective to have wheelbarrows full of cash when raising children.

That’s a bit overwrought, James.

No, babies are little space heaters. I think because they are growing so fast, they have high metabolisms that create heat. My kids never woke up without sweaty heads. And we lived in Indianapolis when they were babies. Nothing beats footed blanket sleepers.