You can’t pass up on a prospect who can turn into a puddle of liquid at will when they’re still on the board at 21.

This is “an eye for an eye” in all its glory. Multiple groups killing in revenge for killings that were revenge for other killings and everyone thinks they’re doing it because they’re the good guys. In our case, the children our military killed didn’t make for as horrific pictures, so we’re golden.

They were there. Millions of them. They just blended in with the surroundings really well so you couldn’t see them in the aerial shots. Or the regular shots.

To be fair, we had just killed like a thousand civilians with an airstrike in Iraq like a week or so earlier.

Our weapons are, and this is what the generals have told me, great generals, the best military minds, they love me, but they tell me that our weapons are a bajilllion times better than anyone else’s.

Because it was free low key advertising for Mar A Lago.

Braun is no Big Bartholomew.

If this is true, Barnwell really needs to be Putin his place.

Yeah, the Syrian attack is too “on the nose”. When something really happens, you only find out through perceived vague references in hacked emails and by poring though Instagram feeds for symbolism.

Yeah, Kendall, we all wanted to save enough Pepsi Points to get the hoodie.

(if one can be casual about fucking around with tons of money with questionable legality)

JaVale with the perfect response: “I’m glad Brandon fouled me. I was going to air ball that 3. Shout out to Brandon Jennings.”

I mean, from the guy who spent Friday and Saturday golfing and then had Fox News put out an alert on Sunday afternoon saying he’s “spending the weekend working at the White House”, should we expect anything less?

Trump is great for manufacturers though. He’ll get rid of pesky environmental, safety and wage regulations. So yeah, they should be optimistic. Everyone else is fucked.

White Jesus says you get to pick and choose the parts of the bible that really count though, so that doesn’t really apply.

Or just a punishment for having sex not meant for procreation.

It’s gonna be even worse when he kills both safety regulations and their healthcare. But hey guys, you’ll go out with a shitty job in a dying industry and all it took was fucking over the environment for your kids and grandkids!

Not even political points as much as pure spite.

So Ivanka, Don Jr. and... maybe Melania?

I know. There were a few other ideas beyond No Children and they didn’t use any of them. Actual marriage ruins everything smdh.