I always joked about wanting to do this with one of my friends, but then she actually got married (and didn’t play this song at the reception).

The AHCA is my landlord. Wouldn’t fix my AC because he said it was a preexisting condition.

+3-1

Paul Ryan, taking his L with grace and dignity.

No

It’s worse because you know it’s still coming, you just don’t know when. One day, maybe next week, maybe next month, you’ll look at your phone and see a text that just says “Hi, Stranger.” And that will be it.

30 Roberts agree: when you’re posing for a campaign photo, you gotta give ‘em the ol’ thumbs up!

I thought of this exchange from Catch-22 when the RyanCare came out.

“You know how when roadkill sits on the side of the road for a few days it just becomes like a stiff chunk of fur?”

100% guarantee any Scott Adams erotica would absolutely abuse the word “sapiosexual”.

See, one book is set in the present and is about future Scott Adams (the old man who knows everything). The other is set in the future, but it’s about present-day Scott Adams (merely the smartest man in the world). It’s a little something called creativity and Scott Adams would love to tell you all about it.

Family Circus might be published in 1,500 newspapers, but that doesn’t make Bill Keane any less of a war criminal for creating it.

Scott Adams-authored Scott Adams fan-fiction.

Did he bet money against himself?

Thank fucking Christ I don’t have to cheer for Duke over Baylor now.

“Nobody knew nuclear war could be so dangerous! We couldn’t have guessed there would be this many casualties.” - Trump in a year or so, probably

It turns out his energy really isn’t renewable.

You know, as repulsive as it may be to me, I get the appeal Trump may have to some people.

Some of them are that dense. Some of them know exactly what the fuck they’re doing and I would imagine plan on blaming the Democrats for any weakness in our government. They fought back on some of Trump’s godawful cabinet picks so therefore it’s their fault that thousands of essential jobs are going unfilled as well.