America - “Is there anyone less credible than LaVar Ball?”

Reading the headline, I thought I’d accidentally found out what the name of the Philadelphia MLS team is but happily, this is a headline about something kind of interesting instead.

“Getting it right ruins the flow!” is the weirdest argument in sport.

Townsends is definitely one of my “calm the fuck down” series that I can just watch and mellow out, similar to the Public Displays of Confection hard candy making series. So mellow, so good.

Speed kills but speed also dies fast.

I think they mean they’d love if college people playing sports could be managed by something that isn’t as bat-shit-insanely corrupt debauched and hypocritical as the NCAA.

The headline should read “ONLY INTERESTING-IN-A-GOOD-WAY THING TO HAVE EVER OCCURRED AT AN OLYMPICS OCCURS”.

While it is unfair to paint all wrestling writers as fanboys trying to ascend, it is also fair to say that a vocal portion of the wrestling writing community come off that way. While I agree that the WWE really over-reacts to that element of wrestling coverage and wrestling fandom, there’s no doubt that it is there…

Or, like Claudia Teaparty Tenney out here in my congressional district, she knows the fix is in, the writing’s on the wall and she’s just saying the craziest shit she can possibly say in hopes of landing a job on Fox News or some other batshit right-wing-loon outlet when the dust settles.

The way everything is built to be so “user-friendly” that it spins around to be counter-intuitively overly simplified to be point of being confusing and frustrating to use is why I don’t use Apple products unless I absolutely have to.

What would ACTUALLY fix pace of play would be shortening all the goddamned commercial breaks but there is nothing rich assholes are better at than slitting the throats of golden geese.

Fishing with fascists, pretending that an inspirational-speaker bigot is a major league player, are you TRYING to push me away, Mets? Jesusing Christ.

Ah poutine. To paraphrase Twain, a good cheese-fries ruined.

But they’re pretending that Wright’s salary still counts, despite getting the majority of it back in insurance.

Now all the Mets need are an actual second baseman, an actual first baseman (not saying Dom’s a bust yet but he clearly was nowhere near ready in 2017 and won’t be in 2018), an actual catcher (two back-ups in platoon do not a starter make) aaaaaaaaaand like two middle relievers.

As a person who lives between Utica and Albany I can tell you, yes, this is probably what we deserve to be best known for.

I get that when you’re hungry, you eat anything and humans have been desperate at times. Fine.

I have a hard time imagining a mathematics that can express the value of “dumber than The Fast And The Furious”.

The Cubs 150 mil just barely beat out the Mets ownership’s offer of “a pair of boots and a sandwich, pro-rated over six years”.

It’s like the rivalry between us Mets fans and its bankrupted ownership... unbalanced and hopeless but still real.