Minor-league sports are this weird place where you get to see these human beings who are not good enough at their thing to be the best of the best of the best of the best at A Thing but are still miraculously more amazing than you or anyone you will ever know at That Thing. They are a context tornado and it’s a good…

I will say a thing that will make EVERYONE disagree with me about food so as to draw the heat off everyone else: mayo is great, pickles are garbage food I wouldn’t feed to my worst enemy’s dog. Omit pickles at all times, bring on the creamy egg-oil goodness.

I think my diet might be the exact opposite of this.

This will confuse people between this football match and the World Racism Finals which just happens to be Georgia versus Boston.

I mean, that’s Brent Spiner, right? They’re just tipping their hand on the Andy Kaufman reveal, having Brent Spiner play the doctor as the doctor from Independence Day.

She’s trying to corner establishment Republicans into working with her if she gets elected. No more, no less. It’s not the most savoury tactic but if she gets in, it’ll probably work to an extent. That’s the thing with Hilary, she gets a lot of good shit done by doing a small amount of pretty terrible shit too.…

Quick question: how has Seth Rogen not already made a movie about this?

This is why I want to mod some Golden State jerseys into Social Justice Warrior jerseys, wear ‘em to a PAX and intimidate the neckbeards out of being assholes. “Social Justice Warrior” is something to be.

It’s like Philly realized Boston has the title of “Most Racist City In The North” and is arming for a run at that awful awful belt.

The Las Vegas Over/Unders.

He... can’t be worse at it than football.

I honestly have never agreed more with a post on Deadspin than this post. Look, if I want to watch human pong that I don’t even get to play, I will watch human pong that I don’t even get to play. If you ORDER me to find it significant, I will hate the shit reflexively.

Ditka as the Donald Trump of sport really goddamn makes sense.

Why does he look like John McCain ate Philip Seymour Hoffman?

Peter Thiel underwrote his campaign as an episode of Hogan is His Hero.

These are no longer as fun when they’re better than my Mets but you guys are doing the Lord’s work, still, it’s just harder to watch.

Well, that’s one way to get in the papers with an HP that ran out of ink! I’m glad she’s doing this for the right-justified reasons. I’ll... show myself out.

Welp. Looks like I picked the right time to eat three marijuana edibles.

The campaign logo should be tits rhythmically undulating in and out the middle of a penis.

“Talk To Sports For A Non Sports Man and The Useful Idiots” with my co-host Traveler Fellows on WLFH turned into “Sleazy and Stormy on 590, The Sports Inferno”.