If you count baserunning and defense, Cabrera and Walker over Flores and Murphy is a lot more of an upgrade than you might think if you really pay attention to the Mets. That was a historically bad defensive middle-infield.

It’s also important to note that while Cabrera is not a terribly good SS at this point in his career, compared to the almost-Jeter-bad legendary awfulness of Flores at the position, Cabrera looks like Ozzie Goddamn Smith.

That is the whitest thing in history that does not involve people pretending they’re in a militia or lecturing women about video game journalism.

As a Mets fan, I’d still like some middle relief depth... I am concerned about the idea of Reed and Bastardo platooning the 8th inning... and I’ll concede that they’re, ah, “bat-first” defensively at CF & SS but... no team is flawless and this feels really good.

Sandy must’ve spent days and days showing charts to the Coupons about how many more tickets it would sell... BUT I’LL TAKE IT!

So we’re still pretending LeBron isn’t the head coach? Neat.

So it’s like telling someone in L.A. that Sublime is overrated. Gotcha.

He looks like he lives in a craft beer microbrew bar. Start there.

The other problem is that he’s assuming his own relevance by thinking he should be tackling this Big issues though his art. No. He had one so-bad-it’s funny novelty song about Goodwill stores.

Having two flowers for a name would be weird as hell for any of us serfs but, yeah, as the child of a celebrity that is about as normal as you can get.

“No no, it’s a Starfleet logo.” I thought and then remembered that I haven’t had sex in like two anna half years.

FYI, I had no idea there was a channel called FYI.

Sports talk radio was the granddaddy of 4Chan, Gamergate and a million other horrible things, it is always important to remember this.

Texas Pete deserves better.

At least they haven’t thrown snowballs with batteries in them at him yet. Give ‘em... two more days.

Silly Rabbitohs, kicks are for kids. Or, you know, actors who’ve been infantalized by fame.

Comfort corrupts. Absolute comfort makes you the laziest motherfucker to tread this besotted earth.

If the coyote has money to send away for gadgets, the coyote has the money to send away for some other kind of food. Maybe not the delicacy he desires but something to get by on comfortably.

At least the NHL was self-aware enough to fix this before the All-Star Game. In football, the commish would’ve fined him 100 grand and ordered Peter King to scold him for having fun.

It is astonishing the way people will say “I don’t want any FUN in my ENTERTAINMENT!” Then again, I’m a baseball fan in a nation where football is the state religion so who knows.