Let’s play “Guess the Twist.” Because it’s M. Night Shamalamadingdong, I think it may be pretty easy.

That is a quick-release fastener. It’s made of plastic and designed to break if the dog gets caught on something.

Yes! This! The whole message of this show seemed to be “Gay is OK (as long as you never fuck.)“

You’re so cooooooool.

That’s total bullshit. I never go around telling all my female co-workers they’re beautiful! I mean, some of them aren’t even SMILING!!

Yeah, I’ve never been into him, but now that he’s a old, salt and pepper degenerate, I’m like “STICK IT IN, BEN AFFLECK!”

Srsly. My sister-in-law is a grown ass woman who refers to anything down-there related as her “tee tee”. She also uses it as a verb for urination. It bugs me because she is also raising my niece to use these terms. I asked her why she didn’t just use the names they already have and she said, “I will not say…

Sorry, there’s a time limit for spoilers. Eventually they just become “shit you didn’t know and that’s totally on you.”

True Story: Brian Krause went to my high school. He was a couple years ahead of me and had a nice butt. That is all.

Tom Hardy sez no.

Hi, you must be new here. Welcome to the internet.

Boy, you sure showed them.

These clothes all say to me “1970's Valium Mom”

Where do I sign up?

Aaaaaaaactually, he doesn’t really have anything going on.

This gives me THE SHIVERS. I was in line at the store and there was a lady with a 2 or 3 year old girl in front of me. The kid was cute and smiling and stuff and the woman said, “Oh, she’s flirting with you!”

Cherish is kind of giving it to me.

I heard the Train version today and it, like all other Train songs, made me angry.

Sorry, your angst is kind of funny?

Wow, you’re really invested in this one.