“There is no greater zealot than the converted.”

...and he literally died right before his stepdad (Wedge) showed up.

I still sing this to myself every once in a while.

Eh. Ever hear of the Black Budget? There’s so much shit going on in our government’s spending that no one can keep track of it. Now, apply that to an entire galaxy with an obviously corrupt head of state who’s pulling the strings on the whole scam.

I noticed that earlier today. I assumed it was my antique laptop choking on kinja & chrome, as it usually does.

Which is funny, ‘cause that was a Beatles cover. But seriously, why are the fucking Jonas Brothers still a fucking thing?

Female elephants.

Did he work for Willie Wonka? I’ve seen that documentary.

Or the acceptable amount of ground-up children and/or the occasional Oompa-Loompa.

Ask your mohel.

I’ve seen some pretty big Orthodox families with more boys than girls, so probably.

Of course the satan-looking aliens are fireproof, duh!

Devaronians are near-human, but not human, so probably thicker skulls. (Gotta holt those horns up somehow.) (Although canonically the females are a bit less devil-y looking than the males.)

Are you not? If you say no you’re probably lying. Or dead. Are you dead? You have to tell us if you’re dead.

I’m more than okay with all of that.

Whatever. Karen Gillan is still a snack-and-a-half.

Yeah, but if he spent his time and money and genius brain on fixing real problems instead of the T-Spheres and fancy leather jackets and punching supervillains the world would probably be better off.

Motherfuckers that ain’t selling no records trying to stay relevant and get some Spotify pennies.

I had that book too! It’s where I first learned of the electric pickle.

Yes, eat all of our shorts! Wait, what?