Because he’s the most excitable person in world soccer this side of Andrés Cantor

Headline: “Former Player Goes Bananas in Stands”

YES! All my attempts to search for replacement bear content has taken me to troubling, hairy corners of the internet.

Between Barstool getting slapped and Nick Foles becoming a Jaguar it’s been an interesting week for three-legged sports figures.

Wow, choosing this week to decrease their social media profile? These guys don’t have an original bone in their body.

If I may add two:

It’s never appropriate to drink an IPA.

Sir, the Overly-Defensive Readings we’re picking up...they’re off the chart. 

Pretty sure the optimum office food is a nice chicken salad, with a side of coleslaw, and a squeeze bottle of Miracle Whip to just pour down your throat as a chaser.  Every office should have this.

The part where they just let you walk out the front door of the hospital carrying a real, living baby with you is pretty fucking weird.

Yes, I’ve always gravitated to the end of the table. It’s also easier to get out to go to the bathroom. I’m not sure why someone would be so excited about claiming the middle seat.

The farts add a whiff of umami, elevating the lowly Teddy Graham. 

My wife and I are having our first in a couple months. Anytime someone says anything close to “do you think you’re ready”, I tell them that we have a dog, so we have a pretty good idea of what we’re doing. Literally as I was typing this, my uncle just asked me if I was prepared to change diapers. Told him that we’re…

Your take on ads has merit but if I ever find myself on the recieving end of a ‘structured settlement’, whatever the fuck that is, I will walk to the ends of the earth to avoid giving JG Wentworth my business.

When I eat Dominos, I find it reassuring that the cow was as miserable as I am

Make this guy American and he'd be wearing a MAGA hat.

You’ve gotta massage those types before they open up. You can’t just go all in right away.

How else was Erik going to get a response out of the man?  He was tight lipped.

I owe you an explanation for why I’ve been away for two months