Eh it's all preference and tolerance level. If I wanted to eat raw meat I would have been a lion. 

Jaxxtyns are doing it for themselves!

Parent pro-tip: allow children to explore potentially bottomless pits.

Curiosity got the better of me. Apparently PB&J soda exists. Going by the reviews it is also awful. And that company makes a ranch soda? Oof, just thinking about that makes me wanna vom. Maybe I should piss first.

My neighborhood park has the rent the gazebo thing. If you ever wanna see a bunch of middle aged white dads pucker up, it’s when they using it without renting it, and the rightful renter shows up. 

I know that, on a personal level, Sunday’s Vikings game must’ve been soul-crushing for you, but objectively speaking, this has got to be one of the greatest regular seasons of the NFL in a long time, right? Every time slot of football has been phenomenal. The LIONS pantsed the wretched, vile evil Patriots in…

Jon: When I was a junior in high school I was a convenience store clerk at a truck stop. I had to clean pubes and blood off in the showers.

Nope. Chargers have that market cornered. Best Color Rush of all.

Let me explain this amazing comment so Redskins Fans understand... Adrian Peterson beats his kids.

 Fresh off admitting that their 200,000-person season ticket waiting list never actually existed...

Adrian Peterson told reporters, “That was a new one for me. It was different.”

Best Bachelor party I’ve ever been to was an all-day smoking class that taught us how to smoke an entire pig: ribs, shoulder, sausages, plus chicken and sides. You tended the fire and drank all day, then ate like kings as everything came off the smoker throughout the day before passing out at 8:30 PM thanks to a full…

Just like I took up jerking-off at 12 from being 12. 

This really is a golden age for beer. No matter where you go there’s little breweries close by.

The Pats missing the playoffs would be the greatest Christmas gift ever. 

Thank you for proving every stereotype to be true, you joyless piece of trash.

Mmm. That’s good kinja.

Wow all the whiny little bitches and haters all in one place. How convenient. 5 Super Bowl Titles and GOAT. Enough Said. deal with it you whining excuse making little girl wannabes. YOUR team sucks. New England is a proven Dynasty and best NFL has ever seen. Your Patriot and Brady envy is rotting what little brains you…

I’m not gonna concoct a better metaphor for Jacksonville than Duval losers gathering in 90-degree heat to jump into wading pools of mayonnaise for free.

I went on the first date with my wife in 1999 wearing a Mark Brunell jersey. I had a Jaguars Starter jacket.