Space wizard? The one that came from the moon?

I mean what do you want them to do Samer? It’s not like 29 year old QBs with Super Bowl experience are just sitting around unsigned in late August. These are the simply the options available that ownership feels comfortable with.

As you should! You don’t need to be a fan of the team for that to depress(/anger) you! These are playoff games, man! The national shit! We only get four fucking games that weekend, and here the Dolphins are, somehow allowed on TV with their butt-ass ugly uniforms and even uglier offense, wasting one of those four…

Shepard’s list of playoff losses, for those curious but too lazy to do the math, comes out to a combined 221-37 and an average defeat of 31.6-5.3

Fucking brutal. I mean, that’s a goddamn nightmare in a bag.

OK, so the thing here was that there was a lot of complaining in the late ‘80s/early ‘90s about the amount of noise and traffic caused by the location of Stapleton Int’l Airport near downtown, so when Denver International was planned it was way the hell out of town to allow for growth, but not have the airport in the…

Yeah, there’s only one c in vaccuum. vaccum. vaccccuum....FUCK!

Doubtful the grounds crew agreed.

I know Baltimore already took down the confederate statues in the dead of night, but if any of y’all in the city still have some ropes, some elbow grease and a desire to topple something repulsive...

Coincidentally, “the spice must flow” is Irsay’s personal motto.

I’d quote Jay-Z from “What More Can I Say” but I shouldn’t quote lyrics, I’m forty-plus.

There’s a huge General Mills plant in downtown Buffalo — the whole business district smells like Lucky Charms.

Take it easy, it’s fucking Tuesday man.

I’m sendin you to Jesus

I will kick you in the chest

The only correct answer to the movie prop question is the actual Maltese Falcon.

But you’re literally alive and typing shit on deadspin write now.

No surprise that Carson Wentz loves wounded ducks.

No.

1. Whether something is technically a cheese or not