I knew a lady with a ferret and she would take a gulp of wine, tip her head back, open her mouth, and let the ferret drink the wine from her mouth.

Zaddy

I don’t agree with having a draft at all (mostly because I don’t think we need near the military force we already have, and if there were a real reason to go to war that everyone agreed on, there would be plenty of volunteers), but I agree that if we have one there is no reason not to include women.

High five heartbreakers! In high school I broke a boy so bad his friends had to have an intervention to tell him I would never ever love him. After they told him he was so upset he threw up. Then 15 years later I married him. Shows what his friends knew.

I didn’t realize a “lotus undercut” was going to be such a literal description of what she got, but it’s really cute!

You say he’s a delight, I say he’s trying to destroy my leprechaun-hunting business. Fucking physicists.

His heart, mind, and soul.

If you want a Neil DeGrasse Tyson t-shirt I recommend this one.

ALL PRAISE BIRB RIGHTS ACTIVIST.

Good tweets tonight! This one made me laugh.

Baelay.

A friend of mine who was writing profiles referred me. It’s not something that had been on my radar before; I’ve dabbled in online dating since the early days, but mostly as a curiosity thing. I certainly haven’t found ~twoooo luuuv~. But I figured I’d apply, because if my friend who’d been doing it for a few months…

Don’t mind me. I’m just sitting in a hotel room with room service (Eggplant pita bread and red wine) after my swim and now I’m staring at a beautiful view and I feel like a goddamn queen. #hotelbrag

Hey all!

I love that their are two completely different gifs posted of Adele putting her middle fingers up. That woman is just great.

“Pigs ain’t fussy!” To quote an old man in my town who raised pigs.

That would be a fantastic dark comedy.

The husband’s lover.