They should have warned me that when my friends became mothers, my Facebook newsfeed would become filled with overly-sentimental bullshit. And they should have warned me that when I became a mother, I might actually be foolish enough to click some of the links until I learned my lesson by vomiting a little on my new…

Yes, if those actions aren't enough to officially move someone from "good kid" to "bad kid" status, I'm not entirely sure what is.

Don't abandon her. Since having my son, I've found that my friends who don't have kids tend to just assume I can't go anywhere. It drives me crazy. I'm still an adult with a need to hang out with adults. I don't want to just spend time with other parents because I don't want to sit around and only talk about our…

I assume he meant that the time he flew Southwest was before his habit of being the last person to board.

Yeah, I probably would have looked into one of these when my son came home after 10 weeks in the NICU. It was terrifying to suddenly have no monitors on him.

Just one minute ago that account tweeted that it's a fake.

Agreed. I'm about to turn 33, and my 9 month old is napping on my lap right now. I can't imagine having had him in my 20s. I would have been a mess.