(I'll quit now, sorry. I love them so!)

I wonder where I could find 'girl-sized pens' today? Where oh where?

(This one's sexy.)

die, kinja,die

NEVER FORGET:

I'm 42 and have a follow-up mammogram on Wednesday. They found something. Probably not cancer, but I know I have two timebombs on my chest (both grandmothers had BC). I've already had a benign cyst removed once before.

Absolutely! I was a waitress who upgraded to Dansko when Doc Martens went to hell. I can't go back to cheap soles since. And Ebay ebay ebay. So many bitches buy expensive shoes they never wear.

Definitely wait awhile to contact him, don't be over-eager. Also it's probably important that you suss out what kind of relationship he's looking for (suss out, don't ask this early for heaven's sake). Like if he just wants a once-a week date to laugh at his jokes for an hour then fuck him, and you want an actual…

I should have also said:

Hire your own inspector. Do not allow your realtor to talk you into hiring 'his guy'. Conflict of interests.

YES. And it's a Hyundai.

My only expertise comes from American Justice re-runs, but a good motivator for the internet age is—- I just don't want to be one of the dumbasses who got caught because I FUCKING GOOGLED IT. I say whatever the job, do it right.

Naw, I think they're all detectable at autopsy. And if they aren't I'm not dumb enough to google them.

Thank you SO much for the chuckle here.

I noticed that technique being used, ever since Julia Roberts hit it big with her baboon-ass lips. After Pretty Woman, collagen was here to stay, and the big painted puffy upper lip became the norm. I think the idea is that it makes the upper lip look bigger, softer, and sexier in standard photos. Close-ups—Not so…

That's my guess.

Three words: I. Am. Gay.

ITA. We have a cheap mandolin slicer that I use when I make homemade suet (bird food). I can demolish a whole bag of apples in less than 5 minutes, AND without cutting myself. I wouldn't go back.