You just came up with the plot for my new novel. I'll shoot you a credit on the dedication page.

Is that pronounced Clem-bow or Clem-baw? These are the important questions.

Is Max Greenfield actually like Schmidt in real life? Because I want to marry him.

It was the zombies. They were hungry.

I'm never eating ice cream again

My favorite part about the last episode was it gave us just a brief glimpse of Pete as a human - when Joan goes into his office and says she thinks something is wrong in Lane's office, and he peers over the partition and sees his body - you see something flash in his eyes. I don't know why but that part really stayed…

Maybe a nice goldfish instead

I love that he understood how everyone loved penguins and it would ruin people's lives if they knew, so he wrote it in code. Well played, sir.

This just ruined Mr. Popper's Penguins for me (the book, not that awful movie)

On a road trip in middle school I royally freaked out when I thought Floppy, my faithful beaver friend, had fallen out of the car at our most recent gas stop (2 hours earlier). After about 15 minutes of intense hyperventilating and shrieks of "WE HAVE TO TURN AROUND" I discovered that I was sitting on him.

I find that not-subtly burying my nose in my book fends off most people. I'm not against having conversations with nice strangers, but usually the ones that want to talk to me are either creepers or lack the social awareness to know when it's time to stop talking.

My engagement ring was initially way too big for my finger, and the night I got engaged we were celebrating and it went flying off my finger into the dark recesses of the bar. Luckily my subsequent nuclear freak out alerted friendly patrons and we found the ring in a matter of minutes. Still. My heart races when I…

I would give him kudos for donating all of that money if he hadn't turned around and raised a cool $5 million for a candidate who would ban same sex marriage if he got the chance. How does he reconcile that?

I've been to her concert and she definitely doesn't lip-sync. It's actually pretty impressive.

Or they should be required to do community service in the oncology ward of a hospital to see what real cancer is actually like

You're assuming that people who lie about having cancer actually possess logical reasoning skills.

This scares me, because I have no intention of letting my future children use social networking until at least middle school. But if literally every other child on the planet does it, it's going to be that much harder for me to say no. Same goes for cell phones. I'm such a fuddy duddy.

Why am I still reading about this man?? He's going to pull a Sarah Palin/genital herpes and never completely go away, isn't he

Question: is "having a doctor there at all times" an issue because sometimes women come in to get just the medication abortions? Because technically wouldn't a doctor have to be there at all times anyway since they're the ones who perform the abortions? Just want some clarification.

I love that in that picture she took of herself (which I'm sure she immediately uploaded to Facebook) she left on the smudgy raccoon eyes. You know, to fully convey the extent of her anguish.