“This is my belief: there are two viable beings involved,” he said. “One had a choice early on to make a decision to conceive or not.

You just can’t deal with the hotness of JacksTark’s take. Lava-hot!!!

Also, I don’t think it’s necessarily worth sticking it to the musicians on this year’s lineup, who 1. likely do not have dealings with Anschutz and 2. have certainly signed their contracts long ago, the violation of which would likely lead to legal ramifications. Don’t go vilifying Beyoncé or Kendrick or Lorde etc,…

The victim lived, and the perpetrators were caught and will be prosecuted.

Martin Starr is my spirit animal and has been since freaks and geeks

Unrelated: I can’t decide if I want to be Gilfoyle’s girlfriend or just be Gilfoyle.

I know, what a relief. WHEW!!! We really dodged a big-assed bullet.

But why Wendy Williams?

Suffered is a strong word in this case, my friend.

I call bullshit. Everyone knows that the only real ethnic slur for a white person is “racist.”

The stereotype that white people always carry ranch dressing around with them is not cool anymore. When you say ‘He’s already got his, that white boy over there’” don’t just fucking assume I’m carrying my own ranch dressing around with me you hurtful monster. I need it for my tenders and when you assume that I already…

In other words, Kim Kardashian is that annoying “friend” from high school who changes their relationship status to “it’s complicated” for a day in hopes of getting a lot of attention, then they change it back the next day. And this happens every few weeks or months.

So far all I’ve seen is Ted Nugent, Kid Rock and that America’s Got Talent runner-up Jackie Evancho. And I’m not even sure how serious the first two names are.

I thought it was this Dirtbag was going to cover the latest from Lena Dunham, that she wishes she had an abortion.

This line:

Chachi? Because the intro from Joanie Loves Chachi is the inauguration performance America deserves!

I’m surprised he hasn’t been named to a cabinet position yet!

No Candy Carson?

Shoo