Accountability is for nerds

I recommend taking up a hobby. Perhaps knitting or glassblowing?

“Our transition team is working very smoothly, efficiently and effectively,” Trump lied, unconvincingly. “Truly great and talented men and women, patriots indeed, are being brought in, and many will soon be a part of our government, helping us to make America great again.”

Mentioning Spencer Pratt is triggering. I am still not over how Mark Shrayber got me blocked by him on Twitter.

Hi you appointed a white supremacist and hate group leader to your team so I don’t give a fuck what you say “straight into the cameras” you Cheeto-dusted melted butt plug.

Their one saving grace.

God kids can’t do ANYTHING

Weird, I have yet to hear of any policies he plans on implementing but I definitely know they’re gonna be “the best plans, the greatest plans ever” so I guess I shouldn’t be worried?

Um because she and the rest of us have been listening to and watching the GOP for years...have you?

He probably likes Miracle Whip.

It depends...sometimes they do it when they’re feeling playful too. Watch the ears - flat ears mean she’s pissed. You’ll get the hang of it :)

The scars on my hands remind me of this daily...

From the way his tail is lashing, I would guess that Bob is seriously considering sinking his claws into that hella expensive lace.

Everyone acted like that song was going to be the next Thing and it’s definitely the most boring song ever

Elizabeth Arden 8 Hour Cream is a godsend. It’s super thick and smells like petroleum jelly, but if you don’t mind the smell it works miracles. I put it on at night and wake up with fully healed lips.

It is pure garbage and I watched every episode.

Jez just released their annual reader-written scary stories. It’s always worth checking out - some are obviously fake, others swear by them.

I expect my share of that money to be sent to me via check...the asshole can rot in prison.

:-|