Yes, my heart breaks for the PTSD suffered by the rapist who got caught, convicted, and was punished with a slap on the wrist.

It would appear Mother Theresa was in fact quite the asshole.

Some other country’s done it and shown success?

25-30 pounds of fruit a day? How much does is that costing him? In money and in time? It seems like you would spend all your time either eating fruit or sitting on the can.

Someone, think of the bathrooms! Oh, the humanity.

The fruitarian way is the best way, that’s why Steve Jobs is still alive and healthy.

I have met a real life fruitarian (although I’m pretty sure he pronounced it “fruitatarian” and dude was NUTS. He’d walk around in little short shorts with no shirt on and often shoeless, big wild crazy hair (very new age/hippy vibes) and would go on and on about how amazing his diet is and how much fruit he eats. I’m…

I love fruit, but I can tell you from experience, eating nothing but fruit is bad news.

Or how about th people who leave their awful perfume smell to circulate the room for 30 minutes after the leave. There is a woman on my building who’s perfume is so strong and so bad I had to switch elevators.

I’ve noticed a trend at restaurants (I’m a waiter) of people using SCENTED hand sanitizer before eating and it always makes me want to die.

You actually don't need anti-bacterial soap for healing tattoos. For all of mine, the tattoo artists just recommended fragrance free soap. Pretty sure I used a fragrance free Dove bar.

Oooh — with that grody metal knob at the bottom of the dispenser, all covered with caked pink goo.

Professional infection preventionist here: unless you’re doing a surgical scrub, regular soap works fine. The point of soap is WASHING OFF stuff, not killing it. That’s what sanitizer is for (save C. diff or norovirus; see: washing off stuff).

But washing hands in bleach is still totally okay right?

Goddammit. Next thing you know, the nanny state will tell me I can’t buy arsenic-laced baby shampoo.

Hey! Guy! So I know this is hard to understand, but even if contact *is* initiated by a woman, you’re still a rapist if you don’t stop when she wants you to. Kind of like if you offer me your wallet to get a Popsicle and I end up buying a fucking Tv.

I cannot express in words the single eyebrow raise I just accomplished with this headline. Luckily there were witnesses because yes I read Jez at the bar don’t you?

I hope he contracts necrotizing fasciitis

Eat fresh, Jared!