Yes, I understand it sounds weird (or whatever) but I'm not lying. I can hang with the "jogging old man" (who I avoided hitting with my car, BTW) and the "laying on me to protect me" and the "I'm just here, hanging out" folks.

Yeah, see, I'm getting strangled. REGULARLY. Like...FUCK. Dude's coming at me and know his intentions (not just strangling me) and I scream (in my dreams) but no sound but a whimper comes out IRL.

Seen ghosts. Not scary. Just...making themselves known. No big. It's an "Allow me this" kind of moment, when they're caught in their usual activities (jogging) or a higher level of stuff to which I'm not privy.

And on another, less sarcastic note, I was abused. BADLY. By...wait for it!...a MAN. Who hurt me. And impregnated me. (Quelle suprise.)

I truly cannot imagine ANY woman saying to herself "Yeah, this is right. This is GOOD. He's got my vote. Because, you know, I don't have a right to my body. Neither does my daughter."

Has anyone else noticed the juxtaposition of this RAPE RAPE article with the VIRGINS (Brazilian just sold her virginity) article?

FOR. REAL. These others are 8 ways of fucked-up, and they (C & S) bring a TAD of sanity to the whole thing.

"Does penis size affect votes?" (lmao @ that one!) "Can a Democrat impregnate you as efficiently as a Republican?" "Is the size of your man's ego equivalent to the size of his dick?" "How does 'testosterone overdose' affect his vote? SHOULD YOU BE CONCERNED?" "What AREN'T you doing to ensure he votes for your…

I don't even understand (I cannot f*cking comprehend) how this is even a THING. I don't think there's enough Silly Putty in the world to help me wrap my head around this whole...EVERYTHING!...that's going on right now!!! It's like "Am I living in the 21st century? Am I having a really bad trip? Did I somehow Marty…

Well...I guess you have me there!

Yup. Exotic animal smuggling ring with Stabler UC. It was GREAT!

I am SO sorry for you.

I love you for two reasons: Your sarcasm and your honesty.

She is...gorgeous. We had some ROUGH TIMES during her teenage years, and I am (quite frankly) TERRIFIED at the thought of her marrying (as well as being "mother of the bride" and all) at this age. I think I've bogarted the over-share (see my profile) but we tried for years too. We had a "mine & yours" situation…

I'm laughing, but I'm crying. I thought it was just me. I read it. I read it again. I read it AGAIN. And I thought "Well, I did have a late night, and I was drinking, and I had eaten pasta [my home-made sauce, btw] before bed, and I was up before the sun, so maybe...maybe it might be me."

:D You made me snort! :D

If a woman had written this kind of shit about men and their votes, it would be OVER. There would be in-depth studies of what kind of Tom-foolery (Tomasina-foolery?)-infected-thought process led to this article; what effect it had on men's "feelings" about being relegated to "that trivial, hormonal" status; bruised…

And just like that, my anger turns to tears. You've so perfectly summed it up, I could kiss you right now.

What does that even mean? And I worry for you.

I LOVE the sound of kids genuinely laughing! Makes me smile so hard my cheeks hurt!