OMG! IT JUST GOT WORSE AND WORSE OMG!

Jaysoos. That is horrific.

Oooooooooooh. *tips hat*

That is one magnificent horror movie shiner!

Aw, poor thing! The progression was impressive.

Ooooooo *golf clap*

In 7th grade I was trying to catch up to my friend by our lockers, so I jogged over to her and shouted "Kenna, wait up!" As I did so, I rolled my ankle, and felt it crack. I was just wearing flip flops! (Not even those sky high Rocket Dog shoes that were popular at the time). Teachers had to carry me to the office,…

I legit slipped on a fresh banana peel once and went ass over teakettle. I know, Mythbusters says they're not slippery but I DID. It was pure cliche slapstick comedy, and even though my ego was probably the most bruised thing it was just so fucking ridiculous it counts as the dumbest.

Holy shit!!

Oh and to post on behalf of my husband, he gave himself a concussion on our homemade slip-n-slide that was actually a 100ft long piece of painters plastic. I had suggested putting an inflatable pool at the bottom but he said it wasn't necessary and went hard into that metal fence. I'm not sure if this was dumb,…

I did that in bed once! Reached down one-handed to hike the covers a little farther up, but they were caught on something and didn't budge, so I just yanked harder. At which point I lost my grip and punched myself in the face. No lasting damage, but my husband couldn't go to sleep for twenty minutes b/c he was…

I once severed my tongue (did you know they could reattach those?) in a library, on the first day after their renovations (I ended up volunteering there 15 years later, it was apparently legend.) I tripped and bit it clear off.

I worked in shipping/receiving at a catalog store. Every day the manager of the jewelry department would come out and we would open and verify all of the UPS jewelry shipments from corporate. Anyway she was very tall and blonde, and I was flirting with her with a small cardboard box in my left hand and a sharp razor…

Bloody nose and lip pulling up my own bra strap. My hand slipped and I punched myself.

Dislocated my jaw by yawning.

I yawned my face off.

So, I'm in the middle of a comedic wrestling show, wearing a prom dress and waiting for my opponent to get up so I can give him a flying elbow to the face. What's supposed to happen next is that I get hit in the back twice with a folding chair; once by an uninvolved wrestler and once by my opponent. My opponent…

I was maybe 12 or 13 and had just gotten into wearing heels. I loved how they made me feel. I would wear heels anywhere and everywhere, and not kitten heels but 5+ inches. So one time I wore them to the park with my friends, and I wasn't to just sit around, I loved to run around and play with everything at the park.…

This isn't my story, this is my best friends story. My best friend was living in Japan at the time, and her old roommate came out to visit her. My friend and her roommate went out with some friends one night and got REALLY DRUNK.

I got a friends knee to the boob on the trampoline once. Hurt for 2.5 years. Trampolines are no joke.