So I’m bored at work......

I know you’re just teasing him, but Elway has proven time and again that he’s the glue that holds this team together. 

Jesus Christ, Charles. These submissions are supposed to be depressing in a funny way, not straight up depressing.

I say this as a Vikings fan, never ever put money on the Vikes. They will always perform in inverse proportion to expectations. When you think they will be good they will blow ass and when you think they will be horrible they will be good enough to give you hope before crushing your soul.

There I was, behind center for the Buffalo Bills. What madness led to this I had no time to ponder. As the supple leather of the ball slid into my hand, I took one step back, then two, then three. As I surveyed the field for potential recipients, I saw an outside linebacker charging like an angry rhino directly at my…

I’m a Lions fan living in NW PA. I took my family (including my 12 year old daughter) to the Lions/Bills game last year. Within 150ft of where we parked the car, she saw 2 keg stands and a drunken woman writhing in the mud. My wife gave me a furious look and all I could do was shrug my shoulders and mumble “Bills…

The only thing that sucks now is I have to have tickets on my smartphone instead of paper tickets, and with the new policy, I have to pay international roaming charges on my cell phone to use my ticket.

Also, my fantasy team name has been “Die Matt Millen” for a decade, so I probably have to change that now. Thanks Lions.

2013 against the Ravens has a special place in my heart. That was where Justin Tucker hit a career-long 61-yarder standing atop the Lions logo to put the Ravens up 2 with 0:38 left. Lions had 3 timeouts and 0:38 to get into field goal range. Stafford threw a pick on the first play of the drive.

“Please just a dollar a day and this dog can get The NFL Ticket so he doesn’t have to watch the Lions play.”

When someone is nice to you in Philadelphia that’s when you know something has gone horribly wrong. 

If Chicago is the Miami of Canada then that makes Detroit its Jacksonville.

I’m a Lions fan who has now lived in the Philadelphia area for over 20 years. The last time the Lions played here (in the middle of a fucking blizzard in 2013) the Eagles fans in the section I was sitting in didn’t bother to even heckle me, THEY BOUGHT ME A SYMPATHY BEER

Guys who have won playoff games this decade include:
Tim Tebow
Case Keenum
Blake Bortles

like when you try to give your cousin grief over video games to make him feel normal while he slowly dies of leukemia

Stretched Rectums is my favorite David Bowie song RIP

Reading this article is probably the happiest I’ll be during this Lions season. Imagine being the fan of a franchise and the happiest you know you’ll be during the entire football season is reading a Drew Magary piece in freakin’ July.

All I have to say right now is, frankly, it’s amazing to me that WYTS 2019 has been going on for over a week now and still hasn’t gotten to Cleveland

Well of course they had to move on from Blake Bortles. Sure, his numbers sucked but that’s what happens when you’re...26 years old? He was 26 last year? That’s what a lifetime in Florida will do to you. Maybe it’s not all senior citizens down there. Maybe it’s just a bunch of unemployed 40 year olds who drank some…