There is no better way to guarantee I will read a story.

And now for a ridiculously dumb story that you shouldn’t bother reading:

A rare look inside the jury deliberations:

I assume the Kings have already given you a 3 year contract to lead their front office.

Counterpoint: the Kings are only going to get the players that other teams don’t want this year anyway. They should trade this year’s #5 and #10 to some team for their first next year, so that the Kings have a chance to go high in next year’s lottery and possibly land the #1 pick.

82 mph fastball? Wow, what’s his secret? -Jared Weaver

He can’t, because Bolt is Freeze. Have you ever seen them in the same room? HAVE YOU?

I know enough people who’ve suffered childhood sexual abuse that it’s hard to have any sympathy for the perpetrators. But the good thing about being busted for it when he’s only 15 (one would hope) is that there’s still time to rehab while still in adolescence, and not have the behavior pattern reinforced as an adult.…

Not sure I like the direction the sausage race has taken.

I’ve seen this romcom before. KD and Rihanna’s fight make them realize that the only thing worse than how they feel about each other is how they feel WITHOUT each other. They eventually fall in love and end up getting married. Jeff Van Gundy, still obsessed with Rihanna, tries to interrupt the ceremony but ends up…

And “Senior Circuit” is also a reference to the NL, even for those of us whose old eyes can’t make out the NL logo.

Cleveland’s strategy of “Let KD dunk all over us” may have been ill advised.

You want them back?

These layoff announcements are getting more and more sudden.

The Yankees Are Struggling To Put Butts In Seats

Odd, a TSA agent that couldn’t see guns sitting right in front of him...

I HAVE THE SAME THING HAPPEN TO ME, EXCEPT THE TSA AGENT SAID I WOULDN’T FIT THROUGH THE NUDE SCANNER (OR ELSE THEY JUST DIDN’T WANT TO SEE WHAT I WAS PACKING) SO THEY BROUGHT ME OVER FOR A PAT DOWN. THEY SAID IT WAS OPTIONAL BUT I’M NOT A FUCKING TERRORIST AND I SAID IT WAS A PRIVILEGE TO TAKE PART IN THE SECURITY…

god damn it! Does this mean I have to get rid of this?