At least you’re not paying a retired player’s salary for 10 more years.

Three offenses to get fined 250K? Looks like the Gophers are safe

I was totally on board until you said HBO. AvP is far more likely to be on USA/TNT/TBS on a Saturday afternoon.

Nah, she seemed too full of herself. Meisha was by far my favorite model. Watching her interact with Kentaro was adorable.

Edit: already beat by a better Breaking Bad comment

Two points on 1-7 shooting? Look out, ACC, Braxton has arrived!

Drew, your kid is being groomed into a standing wiper. It’s my theory that the longer a kid “needs a wipe” the more likely that they’ll stand to wipe. Unless you’re wiping them while they are still on the toilet, which wouldn’t be easy, I imagine.

Shouldn’t it be a touchdown as soon as it hits the pylon which would negate the fact that it caused a fumble?

Yeah, sorry man. Unfortunately we have pretty normal accents in the Twin Cities. You’ll have to head further north for dat der accent

Yeah, STMA must have moved up really recently because they won the 5A tournament two years ago

You’re gonna like the way you look in stripes - I guarantee it.

The only people that like hockey are hockey fans

Just when I think Washington can’t find any dumber way to break fans’ hearts. They go and do something like this....and totally reinvent themselves.

It’s too bad the US didn’t roster the bash brothers

Oh, Jesus Christ...fuck the NFL

Yep, good ‘ol Tall Morty

Meh, better than the teams that didn’t even show up to the field because they wanted to completely avoid the distraction. And even the Steelers fucked that up.

Yahoo Sports is also a bastion of shit when it comes to the comments section 

señora Ford es bueno, señor Mara es el Diablo

I don’t know about this. Dez broke up at least two other would-be Dak picks during the game.